Momzilla is hurting our feelings....?

Question

My boyfriends sister is getting married in 5 months. It has been a really fast engagement and not everyone in the family likes the guy. He is 37 and basically owns a mattress and clothes. I am being supportive of her because she will be my sister-in-law one day. Yet, I am noticing a different in my bf's mother. She is really critical of my bf now because she is protecting the sister. She hung many pictures of the sister and fiance in the house but none of us (we have been together for 5 years....the sister and fiance only 4 months). Its really bothering me how his mom is acting like she is punishing us for not being engaged yet. He used to be able to joke with her and now she takes everything serious. Like today, they are having a BBQ and I asked who was coming over. Her response, "Why does it change your decision with who is coming over??" I am getting really tired of it. What should I do? Will it end once the wedding is over??

P.S. You CAN'T talk to her about. She won't listen on how she and the bride to be are acting.

Answer 1

I guess she thinks that after 5 years, your bf and you should know if you are in it for the long haul and be engaged by now.

His sister started his mom thinking and now she is

ready for a wedding. Even though it may not last, it is a commitment that the sister is willing to make and mom also.

Now it is your turn to either s**t or get off the pot.

There is no nice way for mom to tell you both so she is hurtful.

I think you should cool it with her for awhile if you are not ready or willing to take the next step. As long as she cannot say anything against you for anything you have said or done, do not worry about

how she is treating you. You can, of course, tell her in a note or email that she is hurting you and making it hard for you to like her.

It will take a long time for her to get over the sister getting married before you two. So either put up with it or stay away for awhile.

Answer 2

Have you given her a really nice framed photo of you & BF to put in her house?  Maybe she is displaying the engaged couple's photos because they gave them to her.  Every mother is excited to see her daughter all dressed up as a bride, even if she's not wild about the groom.  That's just the way moms are.  She is trying to be supportive of her daughter, like you.  Kudos to you for supporting the bride-to-be even if she may be making a mistake.  

Answer 3

There could be many reasons that his mom is acting this way. One reason might be the stress of the wedding and not really liking the man that her daughter is going to marry.

You could look at it in a flattering way though - maybe she isn't trying to punish you for not being engaged, maybe she is trying to push both of you to be engaged because she wants to see you become a part of the family and make her son happy.

I think right now the focus is on her daughter because of the wedding. I am sure that once the wedding is over things will calm down a little. I know it's hard, but you honestly can't do anything to change her behavior. Just don't change your behavior and start to treat her differently. I have a feeling once the wedding is over it will change.  

Answer 4

Wait out the five months and talk to her about it then. I know you say she won't listen, but if you and your boyfriend sit her down and talk to her it will get better.

And...it is bad manners to ask, "Who's coming over" before accepting an invitation!