Mother in law help???

Question

So she trying to help me with my wedding by organizing my birdesmaids and flower girls, she talked to the parents of 2 girls to have them march in my wedding, and THEN she told me...i really didnt care of one of the girls did it, but i didnt want the other girl to do it, i barely know her or her parents...is it wrong for me to tell her to talk to her parents again and tell them to forget it? i feel horrible, but she should have asked me first! what should i do?

Answer 1

tell your mother in law she was out of line, you'll just have to accept the bridesmaids now because you don't want to feel guilty on your wedding day that you have upset a little girl.  

Answer 2

I'll be honest with you, your first mistake was letting your MIL pick your BMs and flowergirls.  Why???  Because these are people that you WANT to be in your bridal party for some reason--sibling, family, closeness of relationship, etc....this really should've been your job to do.

You should go and talk to your MIL and let her know that you think she overstepped the line on this one.  She really shouldn't have made that decision without informing you first.  

Answer 3

Yes it is your wedding, tell her to go correct her mistake, and then tell her not to do anything untill it has been okayed by you.

Answer 4

There should be 2 children...one from the brides side and one from the grooms....If you are already having problems and you have not even gotten married...be prepared for a fun future.  Nip this in the butt know  before you have a nightmare on your hands!!!  Good LUCK!

Answer 5

this is your wedding. it should be everything YOU want, not what SHE wants. try to break it to her gently and tell her how much you love her son to get her in a better mood.

Answer 6

I would go around the M in law and call the parents of these girls yourself and tell them the situation, I'm sure theyd be shocked to know their girls had been asked without the brides knowledge and would understand you revoking the invitation.  Then its the M-in-laws problem to sort out any awkwardness with them, not you, you didnt make this mess, its her embarrasing faux pas not yours.  You also have to tell her that she is not to arrange anything else without your concent, its not unreasonable at all, its bloody logical and shes stupid for thinking she had the right to plan things without your consent!

Answer 7

Tell your mother-in-law that this is your wedding and not hers.  

Answer 8

You have your MIL do the un-asking. Let her suffer the embarrassment.

Answer 9

Your FI needs to step in & tell his mother to cut it out.  He also needs to have her call the bridesmaids or anyone else she involved in your wedding that she spoke out of line.  This is her apology to make & absolutely needs to happen IMMEDIATELY.  Then you might want to very carefully consider what plans you discuss with her.  Personally, I would not let her in on many plans at all.

Answer 10

She seriously overstepped a boundary by asking without consulting with you first.  Tell her exactly that, had she consulted you first, you would have told her you do not agree to #2, and therefore she will have to 'un-ask' #2.

Answer 11

THIS IS YOUR WEDDING.  ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE.  TELL HER PARENTS HOW YOU FEEL, IF THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THEN TOUGH LUCK.  

Answer 12

No one should be trying to pick your bridesmaids except for you.  That's ridiculous.

Answer 13

Correct, it is your wedding. You can politely explain that you had desired certain things be set a certain way and that you appreciate her help and will consider it, but that you have other options as well. It is YOUR big day, YOUR special memory and yes, your new mother in law...that can help / be involved in YOUR planning of YOUR wedding.

Hope it was somewhat helpful.

Answer 14

Your fiance needs to talk to his mom and tell her she was out of line and SHE needs to call these people and tell them she is sorry.  

Answer 15

talk to you m-in-law. you need to have open communication with her. as for the flower girl, it really depends on her and her family. you may even be able to get your m-in-law to take the offer back. on the other hand, if you're ok with it, let the girl stay... might be more fun! No matter what you do about the flower girl, talk to your m-in-law. It's great that she' trying to help, but if you don't tell her she's crossed the line, she may never know...

Answer 16

I understand your frustration. You mother-in-law either just wants to be helpful or she is the type to take charge of things without being asked to. Either way, the girl involved has no fault in this and I don't think she should be punished. Did you promise the spot to someone else? If not, go with it. Your MIL will be part of your family and you have to think about whether it's worth it. Pick your fights well. When I had my baby baptized my MIL gave me a dress for the baby to wear. I didn't want it much, but I used it. It kept the peace and it really didn't hurt anyone. I let my pride slip in for a second.