Mother in law question?

Question

My MIL has her daughter and grandchild living with her for financial reasons. My sister in law (her daughter) doesn't have a good job or a father for her child. So she's there for a while probably. My SIL is 26 and has not made the best choices for years. Anyway, my hubby and I have one child. We live states away from my MIL. Here's the thing...she's always buying things for her granddaughter that lives with her and barely buys anything for my child. She gets her small birthday and Christmas gifts, that's about it. I know this sounds petty but I just get annoyed when I hear about her buying this and that for the other child and not my own. It just seems unfair. Why should my child get nothing because my SIL screwed up and makes bad choices. How can I get over it?

Answer 1

So what?

Do not. let me repeat, do not let petty things like this prevent you from being a good mother and teaching your child the things you should in her lifetime.

You get over it by living your life in your state and loving your child and teaching your child good morals, values and lessons in life that will last her a lifetime.

And do not let your feelings filter down through her.

What exactly do you want her to do mail her presents all the time to keep up with what she does for the less fortunate one?

Answer 2

YOUR daughter is YOUR responsibility, and since you do not approve of the way your sister in law was raised, WHY on earth would you be jealous?  Your MIL in not doing the girl any favors - you know that - so stop comparing the two.  Your MIL can do whatever she wants with her own daughter and so can you.  LIFE is unfair - nobody ever said it WAS fair.  If you have to, go buy your own daughter extra gifts.

This really is very petty and silly of you to get upset about - you have no control over it, so stop stressing about it.  My filthy rich Grandmother would only spend maybe 15 dollars on me at Christmas every year - to me, anything was better than nothing.  Stuff is just stuff - it is more how she treats your daughter that counts.  

Answer 3

My single sister-in-law and her daughter lived with my mother-in-law for several years.  My mother-in-law paid for my niece to go to a private school. Among other things.  She also had 7 other grandchildren.  The rest of the grandchildren all had moms and dads and their own homes.

Do you think for one minute we cared that "mom" did these things?  Absoulutly not!  We were happy to have her do it.  Also my mother-in-law being widowed loved to have them there.

All of the other grandchildren, which were older, never cared one bit about it.  

Jealousy gets you no where!  As long as there is enough love to go around is what is important.  That is worth more that money.  Grandma's hugs and kisses are priceless!  

Answer 4

You can get over it by growing up.  Stop blaming your sister in law, okay so she made bad choices right now she has made a good one by staying with her mother until she is able to get back on her feet.  That beats her wandering the streets with her child.  Your mother in law gives the grand baby that lives with her "more" because this child doesn't have two parents who are cape able of supporting a child and your child does.  You should consider yourself and your child lucky that you're not in your sister in law's shoes right now.

Answer 5

Whoa...Put the shoe on the other foot, if you were in that situation it would be the other way around...Its your mother in laws money, let her do what she wishes with it.  Maybe if you lived close to her things would be different but don't be jealous she does something for the kid there.  More than likely because sister in law isn't such a great provider grandma is taking over...