My 4 year old?

Question

should I be worried that my daughter already has a boyfriend in pre school. She told me today when I droped her off, That this boy over there is her boyfriend and she loves him. I am not ready form my little girl to grow up I guess, but I also remember thinking boys where yucky, do they not think that way anymore. She is my oldest.

Answer 1

i have 2 younger brothers that are 13 years younger then me, and I dropped them off at kindergarten and hear the same thing, that's my girlfriend, and that one is mine, and we loooovvveee her!! I thin that the reason children are alot different in their views on kids then we were is because of the media in today's society.  Even though it's obviously not an actual relationship and they probably don't even realize that dating means going on dates and stuff, it is kind of worriesome b/c you wonder if this means they'll be dating their whole life.  Your 4 year old views this boy as an older girl would view a guy that's her bestfriend, and nothing more, so don't squash her views or when she does have a boyfriend later she won't want to come to you and discuss it with you and then you'll get into bigger problems.  Don't necceassirly encourage it by asking about her "boyfriend:" or insisting they get together, obviously, but when she talks about him just smile and say good.  She'll grow out of it soon, and learn that guys can be best friends and don't have to be "boyfriends"

Answer 2

If there is nothing inappropriate going on I wouldn't worry about it too much.  I would keep your ears open, however, and ask her what's going on.  If she feels comfortable with telling you this then she probably doesn't think there is anything wrong with what she calls a boyfriend.  It could be they just play well together and the term 'boyfriend' is the word she uses.

As far as saying that she loves him, there are a lot of kids in my class who tell me and each other that they love each other.  I'm no child psychologist, but I think that the word 'love' can be synonymous with the word 'like'.  Kids' parents tell them that they love them everyday.  Kids that age don't hear the word 'like' nearly as much as the word 'love'.  

If you're truly concerned, talk to her teacher about it and ask him/her to observe the 2 together and see what goes on.  

I teach preschool, myself, and in my class kids are hugging each other everyday...if they're not hugging they're pushing each other over toys or whatever...Good luck and have a good day.

Answer 3

it a little early for something like this to happen.If your really concerned then try to help her.Becuase if the guy breaks up, so to speak, she might get hurt and sad like a teen! She will be sad and or angry and then will say boys are icky but my nephew had  girl frined when he was 5 i though it was cute but when the girl said" i dont like u no morre" he got furious and hit here.He got  in trouble. so try to figure out how your girl will act

Explain to her that if this boy"is mean to her then say i dont like you." but be carefull of what u Say.Dont encourag it at all!

Answer 4

No, that is nothing to worry about. It is normal for small kids now to say things like "that's my boyfriend/girlfriend" and it mostly goes to how much TV/Movies children see where they copy them. Hey in a few years in the teen years she might tell you she is a L*****n and then you will have something new to worry about. LOL. Times are changing.

Answer 5

I have a 5 year old girl whose friend sounds a lot like your daughter. That little girl always has a boyfriend and is always kissing and hugging everyone (including my daughter). I feel uncomfortable about my daughter's friend and feel that the parents need to go with her to therapy or something, but I'm too chicken to bring it up. Maybe you should discuss your situation with her pediatrician or a therapist. In the meantime, just tell her that it's ok to have this boy as her friend, but kissing and touching him (or anyone else) is icky. Kissing and touching should only happen after marriage is what I tell my daughter.

Answer 6

I am a mom, and a preschool teacher, and be assured that this is perfectly normal!  They don't mean it in a grown up sense.  It just basically means that she likes him and enjoys playing with him.  She is just mimicing words that she has heard older people use, or heard on tv.   A lot of my 3 yr old girls have "boyfriends" in class, and it is perfectly innocent!