My Midwifeis a...bad word!?

Question

I'm just curious... but has anyone had a problem with their Midwife? I have this old woman and she has to be one of the rudest people ive ever met? Is it from dealing with Preggos all day?

i originally lived in NY when i found out i was preggo but due to my husband deploying i moved back to TX to have the baby... it took me a while to get my Tri-care switched over to the South becuase they lost my paper work twice and never let me know, when i would call (every other day) they would just tell me that it takes time to process paper work... anyways...it took me a month and a half to get a Dr. set up and get a appointment. when i finally got in my Midwife asked me why i hadnt seen a Dr. in so long i told her why and she strait up called me a liar and told me people like me dont make good moms...???? i couldnt believe her!

When i went in a while back to get the test on Down Syndrome done she looked at me like she was going to eat me and asked if the test came back that the baby had down syndrome would i not want it anymore?....which i don't care if its born with one arm and a tail, its my kid and I'm going to keep it... but when i said i would still keep it she looked even harder at me and then said "fine then we don't need to take it"? I told her i would have still like to have the test done to know whether or not my baby was just so i would be prepared. she called me a hypocrite? what?

sorry i think im kinda rambling but it just upsets me so much...does anyone else have any problems with thier Midwife? Can i request a new one? Just wondering... a little insite (polite) would be nice

Please nothing rude...if you dont like my question please move on to the next...

thanks

Answer 1

tell her to hit the road.

pregnancy is a tough time, and there's no reason someone needs to bring you down or stress you out right now.

you're not stuck with her. just think of a way of saying, i appreciate all you've done for me, but i think i can take it from here.

she sounds like she's just in it for the money and doesnt have you or your baby's interests at heart.

i have anger issues id probably smack her.

Answer 2

Oh my goodness, ditch that one quick!!!  It's insane that she would still be practicing and treating women like that.  You so do not want that woman delivering your baby.  If you absolutely cannot get another midwife in time, maybe you could just go to a regular ob/gyn, anything other than her.  You should always be able to speak up and have things the way you feel comfortable, not what someone else tells you.  And you also need to file a formal complaint, that is just unacceptable.  I really hope everything works out, and that your baby is delivered by someone who is loving and has yours and the baby's best interests at heart.  Good luck, hun and hang in there!

Answer 3

well she ain't very helpful and supportive i had a problem like that with my 1st i was pregnant i had lost my fiance a week before  my appointment and this was my new midwife she had a go at me and said you are a young mum i said "so what" she goes how are you going to cope without without your fiance i said  " i dunno " she goes well you will be one of these useless mothers again i was out raged i reported her and was given i then got another but you do get people like that !!!!!!!!! hope you get it all sorted  

Answer 4

Yikes! Definitely request a new midwife. I have TriCare too so I know it's not always easy finding doctors but I LOVED my OB. Find someone that will take you seriously and speak to you like an adult.

Answer 5

Oh **** no. Please switch to another midwife asap.

You know how like for instance, road construction guys have been doing their job so long they become almost careless? You know the ones you see taking a few steps back when a busy highway is directly behind them because they've just being doing the job TOO LONG. Yeah, it sounds like THAT is your midwife.

You'll have to find out if you can keep your Dr. by asking the Dr.'s office. I'm sure different places must have different rules? However, I do not a midwife so i'm not entirely sure on that.

Good luck to you and congrats on your baby!

Answer 6

Holy Moley, this woman is a devil woman!

I know what you mean, I've dealt with some nasty pieces of work at recent appointments, but nothing quite like that. Mine just basically called me a sook for not handling morning sickness very well, as i 'am not the only pregnant woman in the world! they said that nice and nastily.

I Simply give attitude back, I can't help myself, even if it makes me look a little un-classy in the process, and you have every right to change midwives.

Answer 7

OMG wat a cow!! Request a new one!!

Wen i first seen mine she was kinda abrupt, next time i seen her was in the morning n she was nice. So i assume she's fed up by the arvo n make all my appointments for the morning haha!

U dont have to put up with S**t from anyone hun!

Good luck! x*x

Answer 8

As a professional in the medical field and as a mother I find her attitude to be completely unprofessional and just downright F*cked Up. Sorry to be impolite.

But as a patient and expectant mother you need to be comfortable and happy. I know that you can request a different provider. It is not fair to be stuck with what they give you.

I suggest calling your insurance tomorrow and tell them you want to change providers and tell them why. No one should ever feel like you do at such a special and sometimes difficult time in their life.

Hope to help and Good Luck in your future and in the safe return of your husband.

Koyasha

Answer 9

I would seek a new doctor.  I have never seen a midwife only an OB but I know that I can talk to my OB about anything that is bothering me whether it is pregnancy related or not and I like having that relationship with her.  the fact that your midwife makes you feel like you can't talk to her is really a bad thing because if there were something to go wrong it makes things a bit more complicated.  I understand her point about the downs test but it is your choice to have the test.  and If you feel that it would be better to be prepared in a situation like that then it is your choice to do that.  I do wonder though could it possibly be exaggerated due to hormones?  not your story but the way that you interpret it.  It could just be that she has a ton to your voice that your pregnant hormone enraged side doesn't like but either way you should probably find someone that you are more comfortable with.

Answer 10

How awful,  I don't know the rules where you are, in the UK you can request a change of midwife or deal only with your GP.

Just wanted to say goodluck and in the meantime don't let this nasty woman treat you badly or get you down.

Answer 11

okaii yea she iz rude and iz un called for... let her go... asap... you dont need any stress or anyone upsetting you.. this should be the happiest tyme of yo life... congradz.. on the new baby.. she her/him well...

Answer 12

I would ditch her ASAP. Some OBs, I've found here in Texas, are very supportive of natural births if you want to go that route (I personally prefer it), so I'd at least look into one for now until you find a better midwife. This time, I'd suggest that you interview a few of them before picking one so that you don't end up with a minion of the anti-christ like her again.  

Answer 13

totally call the agency who sent her and report this. and request a new midwife. you want someone who understands you and you get along with to deliver your baby. not some *itch.  

Answer 14

If you don't get a good feeling by her, of course u can change midwifes. She sounds like a old hag too be honest. I had a midwife an she was the most nicest women and supported me with every decision I made. You are having a baby, and if she is going too be there when you go into labor, you will just be in agony. Get rid of her. Before she puts more stress on you and your baby. You don't need that kind of stress right now. Here are some sites for midwifes in texas.  

Answer 15

Yea my midwife was a ***** from h**l!

im 14 and i was raped, resulting to Hayden!

And she had a problem with me being so young, she reconed i had s*x and got pregnant! *****!

Answer 16

DO not use this woman! I would change midwifes or go to see an OB. People like her should not be in the business of bringing babies into the world.

Answer 17

well she doesen't sound like the type you can talk to about how you feel so I would start looking for a new one it is so important for you and her to be a good team and for you to have somone you like and TRUST

Answer 18

I would go to your nearest military base and try to get a new referal from tricare.  This is not something a mommy to be should have to go through.  You might be better off just getting care on a base, I find that they are always very helpful and nice.  I actually had my baby girl on an Air Force base a few months ago, and wa extremley pleased with the service.