My boyfriend is controlling....?

Question

My boyfriend likes to tell me what to do all the time, and I feel like I have to listen to him. I've been with him for about a year and a half and we are eleven years apart (me being the younger). Sometimes he frustrates me when he's always telling me what to do, and I feel like I should be able to express my own opinions. But then other times I really don't mind following what he says because it keeps my life organized and I don't have to worry about much when he does the thinking for me. He's controlling in bed too (which I like), but is that making him think that I want him to control me all the time? I don't know, I'm confused.

Answer 1

There's a HUGE difference with being aggressive in the bedroom and being aggressive with someones life.  Voice your opinions, don't let anyone hold you down or hold you back.  You can organize your life without having someone tell you to do so.  Take back your life now or you'll never have it again.

Answer 2

Controlling in the bedroom is one thing, but you really need to control ur own life.....what if he finds someone else or dies, u won't know how to do anything.  Men who are controlling are insecure with themselves and soon they will make sure u have no one (family, friends, allies).  Watch out, some are abusive!  If he loves/respects you, he will value ur opinion!

Answer 3

omg.. its really hard for u bcs ur life r always controlling. but, my opinion, its will be softly later, if u really understand him very well. he maybe dont one loose u bcs he loves u. dont think what he did is like to controlling u, but, it the way to show off the caring.

Answer 4

Up to you.

Either you dump him for his controlling ways, or deal with it and shut up.

Answer 5

HM... this is hard .. i think when it comes to making a desertion such as this one and you are confused i think you should way your pros and cons , also maybe talking to family members or someone you can really trust in helping you make the write decision ... sorry if i wasnt much of help to you , i hope you find a way to resolve your problem .  

Answer 6

don't be confused.  you have to show him that you have a choice all of your own.  don't be mean.  be nice.  like the old saying goes,  "kill them with kindness"  do that.  ask him...   instead of doing it that way, can we do it this way?  but do it nicely.  then see what happends

Answer 7

If he is always telling you what to do now he always will.Best to stick up for your thoughts now cuz they do matter,that's who YOU are and what makes you,you.Don't loose yourself  I've been there,done that and it takes a long time to find yourself when you have lost your self esteem.11 year dif.is big so please be careful and as my dad would say "If it feels wrong probably is".I was 16 with 25 yr.old and took me long time to voice my opinions after the relationship ended.Hoped helped.Please dont move in with him!!!!God bless and take care of yourself.

Answer 8

You need to show him you can be the boss and make him humble sometimes.

I'd say pick a fun activity that'll convey this message - sitting on his face would work well :)

Answer 9

first of all, i don't understand the first answer to your question.  huh??

second... i'm a woman who's been in that kind of relationship.  i can sypathize with the fact that you kinda like him telling you what to do (especially in bed... that's kinda hot) but i think that you're gonna have lots of problems with this guy in the future.  since he's so much older than you, he might think he knows much more than you do and might think he can control your every move.

i don't understand why you need somebody to keep your life organized for you.  "he does the thinking for me".  that sounds whack as h**l.  please start trying to make your own decisions.  try not leaning on him so much for his opinions.  if you do that, maybe he'll stop trying to control you as much.

overall, i think you need to take some responsibility for the way your relationship is.  you seem to have gone along with the situation for over a year.  now you think you need a change.  i don't think that's gonna happen with this guy.

and if you ever decide to breakup with him... make sure you have somebody with you, for your safety.

okay girl. take care.  good luck.

Answer 10

Guys can be like that sometimes, maybe because he likes you a lot and he doesn't want you to see him as a weak person, just what like what i;m doing now, I try to look good and confident in front of the girl that I like who also like me. That's why he has that attitude. At the same time, don't be to spineless and control him a bit too. Good luck.

Answer 11

okayy first of sit down and talk to him. tell him what you feel instead of being frustrated. its always good to talk. and lady sometimes you need to be the controlive one. its okay to Be a ***** xoXOxoXOXO

Answer 12

ur bf is ttly controlling!! and if u keep on letting him think that u dnt give a **** wheather he owns u or not, he's just gonna keep going on with his controlling freak self!! if i were u i'd tell him that u need ur independence and u just need 2 stick up 4 urself. it's really not as hard as it seems :)

            hope i helped!! good luck :)

Answer 13

Because you keep taking it he isn't going to receive it as a sign to stop or even think about it.

Answer 14

Sounds like he has taken control in the bedroom to other levels...the way I see it well, it sounds old fashioned....I mean I think a female or male for that matter should always have the right to free speech and thinking and ideas...control in the bedroom is one thing... but how can you respect yourself and how can he respect you if you cannot think or express yourself?....sounds like he wants you to be a Stepford Wife.  PEACE & GODSPEED

Answer 15

just get smart, and dont ever see him ,or talk to him ever !  what controling u in bed what? o my! are you sick??? ok woman,  crazy..and u are weak please dont say this to anyone cause, you are making yourself so small... seek help