My boyfriend said yes, but...?

Question

My boyfriend and I decided to try to have a kid so I stopped the pill 2 weeks ago.

Since then, we made love, be he doesn't seem to understand the importance of the "ovulation time". He told me he didn't want the pressure, and didn't want to have s*x all the time only to have a baby...

I presently am in my "ovulation time", and we hadn't made love since 3 days. I'm afraid to miss this month ovulation.

I don't want to rush him, but it's important for me... What should I do?

Answer 1

Maybe instead of saying hey i'm ovulating lets go have s*x you could just initiate on days when you would like to have s*x.  Is there really a need to tell him your ovulating?  He know what can happen when 2 people have s*x and don't use BC.

Maybe it makes him feel weird that he is having s*x to "make a baby" rather than be close to you.  I sugest trying to get the spice alive and not make s*x al about TTC.

Answer 2

Why do you want to have a baby before you have a ring on your finger & some protection that he will help take care of the baby.  It's harder to get support from someone you aren't married to if things don't work out between you.

As for him, how did he finally say yes?  

Were you nagging him about it & he said yes just to get you to stop?

Was it as serious conversation where you really felt he was as into the idea as you are?

Infertility is very difficult for couples to deal with.  When you are in treatment you are on a s*x schedule & men do resent it after a while - in my opinion.  Take it easy on him.  Don't worry about being in your fertile time.  Let the love flow naturally.  Right now it sounds like you got the green light this month and are in a panic about making a baby - which doesn't help your conception odds.

If your period is on a normal schedule, plan some special romantic dates during your fertile time.  It won't seem as if he is so pressured to perform.

Still, think twice putting the baby carriage before the ring on your finger.  It's so much better to have some time as a married couple before you are a parenting couple.  Your relationship does change once there is a ring on your finger - even if you've been together for 5-10 years, there's a different feeling to it.  Enjoy it before there's bottles & colic & not getting to go anywhere or do anything because you don't have or can't afford a sitter.

Answer 3

don't rush it, just have s*x when you both want to because he'll end up feeling like a "sperm bank" then it becomes like a job for him and s*x won't be fun and/or spontaneous anymore!!

Answer 4

It sounds like it is important for him to not rush the process. He just wants to sit back and enjoy life and not stress about the whole process. You should follow his lead and make the most out of your time together and when the time is right it will happen on it's own.

If after about 8-12 months if you are not pregnant then I would try to sit him down and explain that there may be a fertility problem going on and he will probably be more focused if that is the case.

Answer 5

I would talk to him about this more. Maybe he isn't as into the idea as you are. Not many guys complain about the s*x all the time part.

I wouldn't rush or pressure him. Make sure, for you, him, and your baby, that this is what you both want right now.