My brother and his daughter?

Question

My brother was the tender age of 15 when his gf of the time gave birth to their daughter Ella. As he was such a young age i took her on. She has been asking for her birth certificate for school and i dont have it.

My brother is wanting another shot at being a dad, he told me that if i give her the birth certificate which he is going to find and explain and try to see if she would go with him. But i am going to miss her but i know its not up to her and that its up to her dad.

How do i tell her thbis she is 12 and very mature for her age- i think she is already starting to suspect something.

Any suggestions??

Answer 1

Yes: Do NOT hand this girl over to her biological father.  Does it not trouble you that he's been absent from her life all this time, but now that she's about to enter puberty, all of a sudden he wants "another shot"?

And why do you think the guy couldn't possibly be a pedophile?  Uh-uh, call social services if he gets pushy.  You and the girl owe him NOTHING, even though he's her biological father.  You, however, owe the girl protection.  Do your duty to her!

Answer 2

Too bad you waited so long.

Just tell her and set up some counselling sessions

Answer 3

She should have been told this a long time ago...NOW you are really going to have to be careful as she is under the False impression she is your biological child and your brother is her Uncle...you should consult a Professional before you do anything as far as telling her this news~~Good Luck~~

Answer 4

she has the right to choose .. for me, i would say choose a time when u can be alone with her and your bro. slowly break it to her.

but do assure her that it does not mean tat ur love for her is any lesser.

Answer 5

You are going to need a professional before you drop this bomb on her. How sad that you waited so long. This will no doubt be shocking to her and will create some terrible confusion and hurt. Ahhh!

For her father to all of a sudden want to take her out of the only home she has had since birth is very selfish and his reasons questionable! This will be even more damaging to her and I would hope that she remains where she is for the next 6 short years or until she can decide where she wants to be. This decision should be totally up to her at this point in her life.

I hope she is loved and cherished by someone in her life. You said you will miss her but you did not say you love her and you do not seem like you are going to put up much of a fight. Personally, if I had raised a child from birth to 12 there would be no way in h**l anyone would be taking that child away from me.

Answer 6

wow this is a really tough situation that you are dealing with. bt the way i see it is,, you have had her since birth until the age of 12, then she will always think of you as her real parent. But i would still tell her the truth somehow. and just explain that your brother wasnt ready to be a father.still she deserves to know the truth, this could really damage her emotionally. if you want him to try to be a father and take her, then i would start out with him just coming to see her for a couple hours a day, then maybe start staying with him overnight, just do things gradually. i defiently wouldnt rush her into anything right now. just take things slow and explain things to her, someday she will understand and thank you for being there for her.