My children are rotten?

Question

I need some ideas to help keep my kids under control. They are 3 and 21 months girls. They dont seem to want to listen and ignore me. I tried the timeout chair, getting down to their level, "talking not screaming" etc..MY children will constantly stand at the babygate at the kitchen and scream... (they are well fed and hydrated). Also my older one will march around the house screaming milk milk milk while Im getting it. They have no patience and Im loosing mine.. Im not a spanking parent so dont say to give em a good crack. I grew up in an abuse home and will not spank my children. I may give a swat but will not punish with hitting. It is not a good thing to punish a hit with a hit...

Answer 1

Welcome to parenthood, my dear.  At that age, that's what little girls do.  Patience and consistency are the key - and sometimes a good stiff shot of whiskey after they're safely asleep in bed!  Once in awhile I'd make mine a double...   And one day, like me, you'll look at two very accomplished, very bright young women well established in their careers and in adult relationships and you'll weep.  And you'll thank goodness that grandchildren go home with their parents at the end of the day!

Answer 2

NEVER lose your cool. Even if you are going crazy inside, put up a cool front. Try taking away things - TV, computer, favorite toys, privlidges like seeing friends, any treats. If the first one doesn't work, keep taking away stuff until they behave. It will eventually work. They will want their privledges back!

If she is screaming for milk while you are getting it, tell her she can not have milk if she is behaving like that.

Give them the time outs no matter where you are - grocery stores, barber shops, anywhere they misbehave. It looks as though you are taking good action so far, with minimal hitting and no screaming. Maybe this will move things along a bit quicker.

Answer 3

when they scream they get your attention, if your getting your son milk, and he starts screaming milk , milk,milk what do you do, get himhis milk faster!! WHY.

Talk to the and tell them the new rules

NO screaming at mommy

No hitting each other

no hitting mommy

add anything else you want them to do/not to do and stick to it.

Set the NEW timeout mat in a corner far from the main action in the house, and be prepared for higher pitched screaming.

If they break a rule give them a warning and the next time, send them/put them.  and explain that they cant come out for 5minutes and only after an apology for not following the rules.

Just because your a mom doesnt mean you have to be a door mat. if you continue this t*t will just get worse and worse.

Answer 4

When your daughter  is screaming milk milk milk tell her  that she is not going to get it until she stops screaming and asks nicely.  She is probably going to scream louder at first but don't give in.  She needs to learn that you are the boss and when you say something you mean it and she needs to listen.  Also when they are standing at the gate screaming tell them if they don't stop they will lose a special toy, show, etc.  if they don't stop, and at first they wont.  Take the item from them and don't give it back until the next day.  If they keep it up keep taking something until the stop.  Start with there favorite things first.  Again don't give in and eventualy they will learn that when you say something you mean it.

Answer 5

Consistancy, consistancy, consistancy! Take the time to figure out your expectations for your children and how are you contributing to their misbehaviour?  Self-reflection can be a wonderful tool (it has helped me with my kids).  Teach as you go through your day.  For example if your oldest is screaming, milk, milk, milk to you, refuse to get it for her.  Sit her down, calm her down and get her to say, "Mom, may I please have a glass of milk?"  Don't give in until she is polite to you.  You have to model and expect respectful behaviour from your kids (modelling is essential).  Whatever you do, keep your calm...if you need a time out, then tell them, mommy needs a time out (you are also modelling for them how to deal with frustration, by calming yourself down).

It sounds like you may be have gone too far the other way to be not like the home you were raised in.  Bending over backwards to make things pleasant for your kids can lead to weak parenting (fear of being too harsh).  You may need to firm up your stance.  The goal is to raise healthy, respectful children that grow into healthy, contributing adults.  

Remember, that whenever you raise the stakes in your parenting, the kids are bound to raise their stakes too, stay firm!  And be encouraged, there are other moms out there doing this too!  I wish you well!

Answer 6

spank them.. not to abuse but to correct n teach or they will get worse.

Answer 7

bribe them with things. im not trying to say to spank them but just swat at their hands but not too hard. they need to know that you are in-charge

Answer 8

They are by no means "out of control"!

They are just kids being kids!

They need an outlet for their energy.

Take them to McDonald's and let them play on the playground for an hour. Have quiet time and read to them.

Ask your Mom, husband, or a neighborhood teenager to watch them for an hour so you can get out of the house by yourself.

Yes, you're a Mom, but you're still a woman, and you deserve some pampering of your own.

Answer 9

Bless your heart!  I know what you are saying and I think I might have some advise that might help - (Hopefully)

I see that both of your children are young and the 3 year old is conductingmisbehaviorr for lack of attention, not saying anything bad about you or parenting gg skills mind you, but simply that your children are at ages where they both have to have assistance with most everything and you are running around chasing and teaching and keeping you eyes on both going in differentnt directions at the same time and your wearing your self out witChaosos....

They are so close in age that you can research approveioate

games that you can do with them and you all be playing with fun energy instead of bored energy. They are bored intertaining themself and need a new activity to redirect there bordem. You can have all the nicest and updated toys for them to play with but they will get tired of the same things daily. I know that with these 2 young children and time to do all the us mothers are expected to do and still have time to have a peacful moment there just isn't enough hours in the day - therefore you have to be a little creative in the redirecting all their energy.

  Try ignoring the whining, because if they can whine about having to wait on their Milk and repeat Milk then they have the knowledge to understand you not responding with aggravation. This will cause them to stop and think Hey mama ain't getting anoied even though you are containing it all. They will see it as not getting a response and try a diffrent approach - If they have regular rountines such as getting up and knowing that they will have breakfast first or knowing that they will have milk to tide them over til you have prepared them something to eat then take that time to watch them and see how long there intrest is and in what. After you have observed the lenght of time you have til they start getting whininie then have something already in mind to get them intrested in it before the whining has a chance to take place. If you ar just too overwhelmed then you will have to have a great deal of patients for 3-4 days then after you have neglected your household duties and being jonny on the spot when you first see a sgin that things are getting out of hand then after those 4 days you will be able to maintain that routine into habbit and you will have time to get more done becaue you will be able to actually plan out what has to be done and fit to coinside with the routine that you have created. It takes time and it wont happen over night but establishing the routine and sticking to it for the ages of your children they will be happier and less whining will occur in the future.

  But you must start something soo or it will be harder next time you try to establish your point on another issue that (take my word for it -)

will arise.

  I hope these thing I have mentioned are helpful and I hope that you can find a happy medium with you day - and I hope that you find your thing that works for ya, it is very stressful having children so close to age and be able to maintain your peace of mind - cause if mama ain't happy - ain't no one happy and this is a pretty fair statment.

  If you do feel overwhelemed by your own routine then your children will follow suit and feed off that and they react with what they are feeling the same as we do. Take carefull thought in whatever you choose to do first and think it through because you know your children best and sometimes they are happier with something you already have at home.

Answer 10

Since you've grown up with abuse

I take it that you don't know how to run a 'controlled' life.

You should take some Parenting Counseling.

P.S. Calling your 3yr. and 21months 'rotten' isn't a very good thing..