My daughter is extremely shy.?

Question

My daughter is very shy. She is in 4th grade and has never made a friend. She plays by herself at recess. She also has had tics since she was very young. Should i take her to a therapist or is this something she will outgrow?

Answer 1

i bet shes the oldest...

Answer 2

I think it is something she will outgrow. Is she in any extracurricular activities? Maybe that would loosen her up some and break her shyness.

Answer 3

Someone i know was once very shy and they were sent on a camp. Maybe involve her in girl guides, or something along those lines. Camps and things are great ways to make friends. Good luck (:

Answer 4

I wouldn't seek professional help for shyness, but I would for tics.  Perhaps they are just a nervous habit...but it could be a sign of something else, like Tourette's.  Also, the fact that she's never had a friend would be a reason to seek professional help.  What does her teacher say?  Does she interact with kids at school?  Does it make her anxious if she has to participate in some kind of group activity at school?  If she's a complete loner and has no friends at all, I would see a therapist.  I'm sure the school guidance counselor could recommend a good child therapist.  Better to get help now than later.  Good luck.

Answer 5

i was like that when i was little but i grew out of it. mayby she will to...

Answer 6

Please take her to a therapist. You probably should have done something about this earlier-- I'm a shy person and it's a horrible crippling feeling that grows the longer it hangs around.

Answer 7

Have you tried to help her out socially? Some kids need a little support.  By fourth grade it's a little  more complicated, but you can still have her invite a friend over for a playdate or for an activity (like skating or a movie or something).  If she's too shy to ask for herself but you know the mom of one of her classmates, you could call and ask.  By fourth grade most kids are arranging their own playdates but it's not yet totally unreasonable for one mom to call the other.  In another year or two you definitely won't be able to help, so now's the time.  You could also throw a party or have a sleepover and invite a small number of kids whom she'd likely get along with (I'd try the playdate route first; groups can be intimidating).  Often it's easier to be social on your home turf than somewhere else like school.  Extracurriculars are another good way to meet kids with similar interests (who are by definition easier to talk to).

You can also help her in other ways ... like have her be the person who orders the pizza at the restaurant.  And role play at home various social situations.  Have her practice saying a confident-sounding "hi", or brainstorm with her what she could say to get into the hopscotch or soccer game at recess.  The more shy kids practice with stuff like that, the easier it gets.  

Is she being teased because of the tics? Anybody would feel shy if they were being teased or bullied.  Talk to the teacher and make sure everything's okay on that end.

Finally, get some support from the school.  Talk to the teacher:  most teachers are more than happy to pair a shy kid up with a likely friend for projects, sit them at a desk next to somebody who will be friendly to them, etc.  Odds are high she's not the only shy kid in her class, and sometimes shy kids become fast friends with one another once they're put together.  You can also talk to the school counselor, who can come into the classroom and onto the playground to observe your daughter and then can offer suggestions to you and/or her.  Many school counselors have weekly lunches or other get togethers with small groups of kids who are having trouble socially; that might be a chance for your daughter to make friends under the helpful eye of a counselor who can help facilitate things.

If none of that works, you may want to consider counseling.  The research is that it doesn't matter if a kid has one friend or a lot of friends, but that kids who literally don't have any friends are at high risk for things like depression as they get older.

Answer 8

id let her see one just in case .......

Answer 9

Try to do things with her that will build up her confidence level, i think that will make someone break out of their shell and become more outgoing. Confidence.

Answer 10

It's normal for a child to be shy at a young age, but if the child has at least one friend, things won't be too bad. Do not take her to a therapist or anything of that sort because later on in her future, she will feel that there is something wrong with her. Being shy is something that a person can outgrow on there own but if you are really concerned, then help your daughter be confident in herself. Being confident allows a person to be open. But make sure your daughter won't become too confident to the point shes stuck up.

Answer 11

Wow, since when did being shy become a crime?  Taking her to the therapist will just make her feel like there is something wrong with her because she is shy.  If she wants to make friends she will.  It may just be her personality why she is shy but do not make it out to be something wrong with her!