My horrible older sister

Question

My sister has always bees so horrible and only just now am I deciding to give up on trying to have a relationship.

There is a 6 year age gap between me and my sister I am 23 and she is 29,, we have 1 brother who is 26 who is and has always been the best big brother there can be. When I was a child I always looked up to my sister, I envied her looks, life, friends and ways I thought one day I would be like her, she would never let me get close and always put me down she would never do what normal big sister did she ignored me and just never bothered she has never been there for me.I then grew to my early teens and realised I am not like her we are totally different, I had my own friends and my own looks, she moved out at 19 and me and mum wouldn't hear from her months at a time (unless she wanted something) As I got to my early teens this used to really affect me I'd see her out at family partys after not seeing her in months and she would just not bother with me it was so embarrasing infront of my friends they all hate her and think she's so nasty and full of herself (which she is), when we did talk it was like talking to a stranger. As I grew even older I stopped loving and envying her and started to hate her, her bitchy put downs stopped hurting me and started getting me mad I am now at a stage where I dont care what she thinks and I din't want to be close to her as she is a horrible person if we were not sisters she would not be somebody I would want to know. She had a baby 5 years ago and then all of a sudden she's rining me and mum when she wants a babysitter, I love my nephew and always help out when I can but she ONLY ever rings me when she's stuck for a sitter, never to see how I am, I have never had a call form my sister to see how I am, theres always a reason behind it, my boyfriend says I let her walk all over me. She talks to me and mum like were thick, even though I got better results at school and have a much better job than her she basically laughs in my face, she is cold hearted and I have never seen her cry, me on the other hand is soft, caring and loving. I was drunk on Saturday at a family do and I seemed to let 23 years of hurt out in one night when I heard her tell my mum "dont talk with you mouth full mum" I flipped I said dont talk to your mum like that shes your mother, she screamed at me calling me a gob shite and storned out, she eventually left the pub 30mins after cold faced and laughing whilst I spent the next 5 hours crying, why does she get to me so much I dont understand why she has never cared

Answer 1

I recommend severing your ties and forget that she even existed.

Her fall will her own.  

Answer 2

ur sister is full of her self.. dont babysit for her. dont call her.. dont talk to her and be strong, if she says anything fight. i know soemtimes we get hurt and cry. i did too.. but it made me stronger and i got her moves n use it against her. have fun.. live life!! forget her.. shes a *****!! probly a hoe or w***e by now u on the other hand is the good one.. btw remember being the bigger person always isnt a good thing. forget her.. if she calls u. talk bitchy!! and say no. eg the being

ur sis says she need s a sitter

u say

not after what u did to me ***** (put the phone down on her face)

she comes over. open the door.. she'll say something and u say.. ermm sorry most of the guys are at the end of the street not here :]

be a ***** to her! shes jealous of ya

Answer 3

She's a cow. Don't do her any favours if you can help it. Much better not to have any contact at all  

Answer 4

I don't think I would sever ties with her. She may be a mean person and no she doesn't seem to appreciate how lucky she is to have great sibilings and a mother who is there for her, but she is still your family. You will still have to face her because she will always keep coming back around and it will be harder for you. You don't have to go out of your way to do anything for her and if she doesn't talk to you with respect you can tell her that as long as she talks to you like that, that you will not listen. Let it go in one ear and out the other.

As far as your nephew goes, it's not fair to him to not have a loving relationship with his Aunt or his grandmother because his mother is selfish. He is innocent and if you want to keep watching him, do it because you love him and want to see him and not because you feel like you are doing your sister a favor. Her actions make me question how much of a positive influence she would actually be for him anyway. He will probably need you.

It almost seems to me like she just has some emotional problems because it isn't natural in my opinion for her to deliberately hurt your feelings your entire life for no reason and then not care about them when you confront her. Maybe she has always thought that you possess a great quality that she has never had and wants badly but you just don't know what that is and that's why she has treated you the way she has. Whatever the reason, it still sounds like she is an unhappy person and I say don't let her bitterness eat you up.

Go ahead and be a great sister to your brother and a great daughter for your mother and a great aunt for your nephew. If she wants to be ugly about it, smile and ignore the uglyness. You'll feel better that you have done the best that you could. And yes, it will feel like a part of you has died, but you will finally see that you have surpassed the person that you have always looked up to because she will have lost more than anyone by her actions.