My husband is driving me crazy!!?

Question

He is really making me feel looney tunes! We have only been married for 7 mo. but been together for 3 years. We have a 15 mo. old little girl. He works full time, I work pt and contribute my share to the household. We never have any money to just "spend" (vacation, dates, travel, alone time.. ect) Im also in college and will be done in a few weeks! I already got this amazing new job just waiting to start, the salary is gonna be amazing! (compared to what I make now) Basically right now between the 2 of us, we are bringing in about 300 a week, no rent, just bills. (water, power, cable, phone, internet, car insurance) We split that. But he is so miserable and "mean" acting all of the time!! When he gets off of work he is a total jerk! Always griping, complaining about no money, ect... I try to reassure him that I will be starting my new job soon but he just acts like he doesnt believe me!! Like the extra money isnt gonna help! I don't know what he is so unhappy about! When he comes home, he just wants to go next door to his buds (my cousins) house and stay forever! like he is avoiding me! But I dont do anything wrong, I give my half, take care of baby, clean, get groceries, ya know, the whole "wife" thing! I mean, he also does his "job" as a husband but still acts so unhappy and miserable! I don't know what to do! I have no one to talk to about it, and when I try to "talk" to him, about anything! (the weather, the news, ect... our baby, ) he just tunes me out to the television. Or he walks off (not realizing it) Its like Im talking to a brick wall and its killing my heart. He is tuning me out and i cannot take it, also he grips consistantly about things he has no control over. I have tried being more sexual to make him happy, giving him more time with his friends, ect.. nothing helps, I don't know if I can go on with him knowing that the new job is on the way and him not having any faith in me. What should I say to him? How can you make someone like that happy? I just want him to perk up!

Answer 1

You can not make someone else happy.  They have to do that on their own.  You can help him and try all you want but if he doesn't want to be happy with his life he won't be.  All you can do is make yourself happy and your child.  Go to your new job and love it.  Enjoy what you have worked hard to get.  Take care of your child and make sure he/she is happy and healthy.  Make some new friends and enjoy your life.  He will either come around and change or he will not.  Either way you have a life to live and when you married him you did not give him that.  I'm not saying leave him but I am saying don't wait around and let him decide your and your childs life and happiness.    

Answer 2

Men feel inadequate when there is not enough money for the family.

I would suggest telling him that you love him no matter what and try to be friendly with eath other.  Suggest him taking up a second job or you a night job right away to help with money.

How are you starting a job with a 15 month old baby?  I am confused?  Who will be raising the baby?

Answer 3

I'm going to be honest, and don't mean to be rude or anything, but I've been married and been with my husband just a little longer then you have been with yours(9 months married, 3 1/2 years together) and the first thing I noticed in your question was that you described being married and being a husband and wife as a "job". You do your job as a wife and he does his as a husband. Being married isn't about duties or who does what  in the relationship, it's about working together and sharing the responsibilities that you decided to take on together.

Starting a life and family off together is definitely hard especially when it comes to finances, but you shouldn't feel that it's up to you to support your family alone, just because you're going to make more money. It sounds like your husband is a little insecure about the way your lives have turned out so far, maybe he was expecting everything to be easier, or was he expecting you to work so that he didn't have to? By the sounds of it you're already doing everything to try and make him happy,but it doesn't seem to be enough for him, what is he doing for you to make you happy? If he won't listen to your reassuring words, he might need further help like therapy or counciling to make him realize that you're both doing your best.

Answer 4

It sounds like your doing something really good for you, just keep going at it, be excited about your new job do it for you know that your doing your part and doing it well, be proud of yourself! You need to talk to him theres nothing else i can tell you but u need to talk to him! Straight up say we need to talk and if you are not willing to we are going to have some serious problems. Because honestly you wil after soem time its not fair for u.