My husband spoils our kids?

Question

He will get them whatever they want. I ask him why he does this and he says: "Well, If we have the money and if it makes them happy, why not?"

I don't mind him getting things they need, but just new stuff like everyday? no way! Yesterday he took all the kids to the mall and bought them 5 things each for nothing. We have 5 kids ages :

Sean - 15 - new brand name clothes and new sneakers, when I just bought him new sneakers

Julia - 12 - brand name clothes and jewerly

Justin - 12 - brand name clothes and new sneakers

Maya - 7 - a pink ipod and clothes - Maya defiantly is spoiled the most, she is daddy's little girl and he will get her whatever she asks for.

Ian - 4 - new toys and a portable dvd player

And he bougt things like : ^^^^

I don't mind it that much and once a while is ok, but that much?

The thing is my husband say if we have the money, they're all good kids, and it makes them happy, why not?

So what's your opinion.

I do have to say though, they are good kids.

Answer 1

he just despratly wants closeness to his children

its not harmful so let them get on with it

its not the buying things its the going to the mall and bonding with dad which is the great thing about what your husbands doing. the kids dont really care what he is getting them , just the fact he is spending hours helping them pick out cloths and prezzies.

some will say this is negative

but your kids will never fear having to go to there dad for help when in trouble.

Answer 2

This seems like a effort to spend time with his kids. Which is great, but what will it show in the end? I get the impression that you both are great parents, because your kids seem well behaved. That's wonderful, but when they are older, are they just going to ask you for everything or actually earn it? Giving your kids gifts to show that you love them is ok once in a while, but not as much as it sounds he is doing. I would say, you should save some of that cash an go on an outing or take a 3 day vacation. That way your kids will look forward to it and they will have a lot of fun.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 3

I have to admit, I do spoil my kids, but they get something once a fortnight, and have a limit of $20.

I do agree your partner is buying way to much, but I guess, if your financial situation is great, then go for it. Just remind him through, that if he ever stops, the kids will not be happy

Answer 4

You get your kids whatever they want when they had deserve it and whenever you can not when they want if you get your kids what ever they want they going to do whatever they want with you and you dont want that so i really think you should take part of the situation and avoid that,

Answer 5

Just because you have the money now doesn't mean you always will. Also, you're not teaching your children the value of money--it doesn't matter if they're the best behaved children in the entire universe--they need to understand the value of money. You're teaching them that they can act on any whim and buy whatever they want. What happens when your child decides he/she is going to be the perpetual student and is making fifteen thousand dollars a year or less? Their credit card debt will be through the roof because they don't understand the value of money and will be in the mindset of "Mom and Dad will just bail me out every time I s***w up."

Right now, your husband is blowing your retirement on gifts/presents your kids don't need. What's left when it's their birthdays? Your seven year old has an ipod--a seven year old has no need for an ipod--at what point will she lose it, break it, or trade it for Littlest Pets at school?

Spending money at the mall is not quality time spent with kids, which I think, is what his intention probably is. Why not play games or go to an amusement park every so often? What about a family movie night?

I agree with you, he's spoiling them unnecessarily. How great would your kids feel if the money your husband would have spent went to people who actually needed it? There are so many people in this world that need money and things--why not help your kids see that and have them see the appreciation on others' faces when they're given money or clothing? I think it's high time the entire family went to volunteer at a soup kitchen or some other service organization.

If "going to the mall" is their "thing," then don't let hubby take more than fifty dollars with him--they can all window shop and make lists of the things they like and they can ask for those things for their birthdays. Teach your kids what it actually is to want something for a long period of time--right now, it's instant gratification.

Answer 6

I would probably do the same if I had the money, my kids ask for things and I always have to say no cause we can't afford it and that sucks, be happy your hubby and you can afford to give your children things.

Answer 7

well that could b good every 1ce in a while but everyday? no no no that is not good cause what if u guys go short on money? then u go to a store to get things u need and all of ur kidz want stuff then they will get mad at u guys for not buying them stuff esecily the younger 1nes they will probaly try to cry  or something

Answer 8

They may be good kids, but it's not exactly a good example for them. Materialism is the last thing this world needs running rampant, which it is... Since they're good kids, I think you must be a good mother, so don't take any of this the wrong way. It just sounds like your husband needs to restrain himself a bit. Instead of buying nice things for the kids everyday, maybe save up that extra cash and go do something family oriented. I remember those random family trips to wherever being my favorite thing to do as a kid. :3

Answer 9

He sounds just like my mom. She spends money on us for "no reason" according to my dad. My parents share an iPod, I have one (13), and my sister has one (9). We are going on a 5 hour trip in the car, so my mom bought the other kids (6, 4, 2, and 2 month old twins) an iPod to share, so they can listen to music. My dad thinks she's nuts, but oh, well. I love going to the mall with her.

Answer 10

Clothes i can understand but an Ipod for a 7yr old? way to spoilt there, if your hubby keeps buying everything then whats left for there b/days? X-Mas? special times.

a dvd player for a 4 yr old? ****.. im 23 and wish i had one of those ='(

Even if they are good children still need to limit the spending or they wont have any reasons to get jobs later on cause Hubby buys em everything. I could be saying it out of jelousy to wish my dad spoilt me ='(