My judgmental father?

Question

for some reason, i am the one he is constantly criticizing. every time he gets mad at me, he tells me to pack my things and get out, or that our family would be so much happier and better off if i just left. i'm only fifteen mind you, but it just hurts so much to hear that. i can't really just leave and go off on my own anywhere, and he can't exactly kick me out. but sometimes i take him seriously and i just wish i knew what to do.

Answer 1

why at fifteen is your father so angry at you are you telling us the whole story? if not then you will get the wrong answer, you are 15 and menopausal hormnes that changes the way you normally behave, this in your life is a big deal.

Im not saying your father doesn't pick on you but do you think just maybe you are being a little bratt some times, I had four children of my own 2 boys 2girls and they at your age are, just lets say a little difficult parents are not born knowing every thing they make mistakes as well, and they go through some bad times they wont tell you about so give a thought next time he throws a wobberly          

Answer 2

your dad is a d**k and probably going through manopause. You need to talk to your mom about it, or even him... or hey, pack up and leave for a week or two and see how much he missses ya.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear about what you're going through, kiddo.  I have five sons, 4 still teenagers, and yes, we have conflicts, too.  I'm not the greatest dad, I know I can be insensitive, too, but if you were one of my boys and I knew how you felt, I would want to clean up my act.

The best advice I can give anyone who is having teenager-parent conflicts (whether you are the teenager or the parent) is to do your best to get through the teen years without causing damage to your relationship.  That might mean you need to hold some stuff inside when you are feeling angry.  Yeah, it stinks, but part of becoming mature is to know when to speak, and when not to speak.  If you think it might help to talk to your dad about it, wait for a time when both you and he are calm, and when it would not feel like a confrontation.

Also - don't expect your dad to be perfect.  He's another human being, too, struggling through life.  Maybe he has issues of his own, that you're not even aware of, that might cause him to snap at you or others.

Answer 4

My dad and i had a very simular relationship.My dad use to criticize me and nag me and put me down for anything and everything from the way i cooked my eggs in the morning to the way i would cry when i would watched a sad movie or just showing any type of emotion period was a sign of weakness to him.so as soon as i graduated high school i went to college and got a part time job and moved out with roomates for about 4 months let me tell you he was sad he would have my mom call me and i would talk to him he would ask if i was ok and if i needed anything i would have never thought that would of happend and then he started respecting me and hinted to come back home and that everything would be better. And it was i mean it wasnt perfect because theres no such thing as perfection it was close. Dont get me wrong we couldnt stand each other for a long time before that i use to tell him hes mentally abusing me and that he hurts my feelings and why cant he just be proud of me and why cant he just love me And why does he hate me so much and  from then on i promised myself i would listen to my children and tell them all the time how much i love them and that they are very special to me. Now im 29 and i have a beautiful 4 year old son and a wonderful husband.My dad turned out to be a loving grandpa and he tells my son he loves him everytime he sees him so people do change i have learned that. It sounds like your a good person. You probably dont want to hear this either but since your underage there isnt really anything you can do unless hes physically or sexualy abusing you. I know thats not what you want to hear, And i know hearing your father constantly put u down really hurts.Without knowing your dad just from my experience i have to say maybe the reason is because he doesnt know any other way of expressing himself because maybe his parents were awful to him and thats all he knows. Right now it is going to be very hard but you have to stick it out and tell him how hes making you feel eventhough he may laugh at you or criticize you in the long run he will remember and hopfully he will change, get your education though because as soon as you know it you will be 18 and you will have the choice to leave but you want to be able to show him your a responsible person and you can take care of yourself. Please dont take this the wrong way it is wrong of him to do this to you and there is no excuse but you have the power to break the cycle. Good luck And I know you will be fine and later everything will work out what ever you decide.