My neice that is almost 10?

Question

my neice that is almost 10 is currently living with us cause she dosnt like her moms boyfriend and my sister has been having alot of trouble with my nephew so shes staying with us but thats not the problem the problem is she is realy realy shy and its with everyone thats not close family and theres only a couple guys she will talk to at all she wont even hardly ever talk to my brothers she has one teacher at school that she will talk to and its not even her normal teacher its one that helps her with reading and math but she has been comming home from school realy sad and grumpy today all she would tell us was that 4 girls from another class were being mean to her but we couldnt get her to tell us what they were doing or how they were mean to her has anyone out there had this problem any tips on how to make it better will she outgrow this please tell me she will out grow it..i realy have no idea why they were picking on her she isnt ugly or a nerd or anything and but she only has a few

Answer 1

Coming from someone who has been shy my whole life I would say she is probably being picked on because she is shy. Girls theses days can be vicious and someone who is shy can be an opposable threat for some odd reason.

I am sure she will open up in a day or two on the exact story.  know it always took me a few days to work up emotional courage--as I am a very emotional person and being shy does not help.

Being up rooted and moved is really hard too. She needs to know she can trust you. Talk to her, spend time with her, make her feel important and that she can trust you in any situation. She also may be having problems from her mom choosing a guy over her own daughter. Maybe seek therapy--not because she is crazy or anything but because everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes so that we can understand out own feelings. GOOD LUCK.

Also if the picking from the girls continues maybe contact the school.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with being shy however if it prevents her from letting you know she is being hurt or harrassed then there is an issue.  From the sounds of it the little girl has had a rough life with a lot of changes in it a dad that was abusive and a new man in moms life she doesnt like.  Women should listen to their kids because chances are your neice knows something is not right and that is why she doesnt like him.  Anyway.  The teacher your neice will talk to.........go to the school and talk to her one on one and let her know what was said about the 4 girls and her coming home upset, maybe explain some of your concerns about her not talking.  The teacher is there to help but she cant help if she doesnt know there is a problem.  She could then work it into a conversation with your neice to see what was wrong.  Talk to your neice daily and let her know that you love her and if she ever needs to talk you will listen and you will always be there for her.  She needs to know one person is always on her side.  As far as the social aspect maybe try getting her into karate or another activity that can build her self esteem and at the same time get her around other people.  If she has something she is good at it will give her confidence in other areas as well.

Answer 3

I would say a huge part of it would be that she has been uprooted and is not living with her mom. Her mom needs to talk to her and get her back home. Is there any chance of her moms new boyfriend being inappropriate? It's weird she dislikes him so much she would rather leave at 10, and she seems to have a connection with mostly males,not weird in and of itself, but probably worth investigating,and maybe talking to a therapist wouldn't hurt. After all she doesn't really seem to be talking with anyone else.

Answer 4

There are many different reasons why she may be that way.

Yes, she may just want her mom and no one else.

She may respond to boys more due to being picked on.

Most likely she will outgrow this.

Answer 5

They pick on her because she probably is the more quieter one in the class.......People have always picked on me because of that, but after a time I got tired of it and would talk back and then they kinda just left me alone after that.

Answer 6

Duh!!!

This is not rocket science, people!!!!

The boyfriend which is not her Father living in the home. Her father is not living in the home with the mother.

Boyfriend is taking time away from her time with her mother, she is jealous.

Now one person said the boyfriend may of acted inappropriate with the girl??? SO WHAT if he did!!!

You already have an unhealthy living environment that is charged with sexual energy.

every one involved is a senctian sexual being, things are going to happen.

why is the older person gets blamed if anything happens?

Children start off and then the older person gets blamed, PLEASE People Wise Up!!! Lol.

I hope this helps.