My parents are so overprotective !?

Question

I'm 13 years old and they treat me like i'm 5 ! Here are some examples of how they're overprotective.

My primary school was 1-2 minutes away from my house. It was just around the corner. My parents didn't let me walk there alone until I was in year six. It was so embarrassing to be 10 years old and still escorted to the school gate. Now i'm in high school and nothing has changed (my mother drives me). I wanted to walk home with my friends, but my parents said no because they think i'll be abducted and killed. I told them that i'd be with 7 other people, but they didn't care. They said you can be abducted no matter who you're with. I'm not even allowed to step out the front door without my parents escorting me (they think i'll be abducted). Furthermore, I cannot go to a friends house unless my parents know their parents and when i'm there they call me every five minutes. I feel like i'm trapped in the house. I can't go anywhere or do anything unless it's with my mother and i'm way too old for that.

It's not like they have a reason to be overprotective. I'm responsible and get the best grades in my year. So what can I do ? I want to be able to step outside without having to ask my mother to come with me & I want to go and have fun like other people my age.

Answer 1

Well, I tend to agree with you -- as a parent, I, too, think this is a little obsessive.  

You don't mention if either one of your parents have a job that might affect other family members -- i.e., an attorney who works on criminal cases, a prosecutor, a judge, a detective, etc.  Sometimes, people like that may worry about bad guys retaliating against their families.  I had a girl in my Girl Scout troop once whose father was an attorney, prosecuting a very high-profile criminal case.  His family had received many threats, and when our troop went on a campout (he wanted her life to be as normal as possible), we had to have special security personnel at the campground guarding us.  They were very discreet, but I had to let them know our schedule and notify them of any changes, so they could make arrangements. It was a bit unsettling, but it wasn't the girl's fault.

However, in all likliehood, that's not the case with your parents -- they are probably just overly concerned.  I'm not sure what you do, dear.  Abductions of children by non-family members is really extraordinarily rare -- that's why they are all over the news when it DOES happen. At 13, you do need a *little* room to start spreading your wings a bit.

I really don't blame your parents for wanting to know the parents of your friends -- I'm sorta that way, myself. But calling you frequently while you are there is a bit overboard.  My kid's instructions were always to "call when you get there, so I know you're there safely, and call when you get ready to come home, so I know you're on your way."

Is there another family member (an aunt or a grandmother, perhaps?) that can gently talk to your parents and let them know it's time to let up a little?  Maybe you have a best friend whose parents are friends with your parents?  Someone else is going to have to encourage them to loosen the handcuffs!

Answer 2

i know my parents are the same but they arent that over protective but they r doing this cuz they love you and they are your parents.

Answer 3

Your job as a teenager is to challenge authority, I'm not saying go crazy, but just push a little to show your parents your that you are maturing and getting older. Your parents love you and want you to be safe. Try to put yourself in their shoes, your parents are probably FREAKED out, they probably have NO clue how to handle a budding teenager, its a learning expierience for you and your parents. If you show them that, "this is who I am and what I'm going to do, and by you stopping me, will deprive me of social events that will shape my adult life" thats what you should say to your parents. Theye are just as clueless about handling this situation as you are. Just know that. The EARLIER you show your independence the more your parents will respect and trust you.

Answer 4

they have every right to be over protective. they are your parents and their job is to keep you safe in this very sick and UNSAFE world. Have you heard all the stories recently on the news about kids & adults getting kidnapped and raped and murdered. Your parents are just trying to protect you from becoming another statistic. Be happy that you have parents that care.  

Answer 5

ask them to buy you a rape alarm or some pepper spray and ask them if you carried it with you at all times then could you go places on your own.

abduction is something that can happen to all ages, not just your age! it doesn't go with age. even when your 18 it can happen. and they can hardly be walking you to school then. they need to learn to let go.

Answer 6

well you are a lil bit young but they just love you they'll understand that you'll growing up and that you want your own space

Answer 7

You're 13. And they're your parents. It's what they do. Lots of people out there don't have the luxury to have any parents much less overprotected ones. You should feel lucky.

Just enjoy your life and learn as much as you can.

Answer 8

Well, I think your parents are going a way too far. I understand how you feel, and I also understand your parents concern. You did not state where you live, or if where you live has a history of a lot of kids being abducted. IF there were a lot of kids abducted like every 2 hours in your area, which is very rare, that can be understandable. But in my area, and there is an abduction, it is brodcasted on your cable TV, and radio stations immediately as soon as an abduction happens.   You can explain to them when you do walk to school, you walk with friends, you have a lot of friends that you walk to school with, which is seven.  Tell them when you visit your friends, explain to your parents that they do not need to call you every five minutes like you stated in your details. But there is no chance you will be abducted once you step out your front door. Tell your parents that there is no one out there, and you don't need anyone following you out the front door.  The only way you will be abducted at your front door is if someone is standing at your door step, or hiding under your porch, and so forth.  And you will know if someone who is unwanted on your premesis.  

See if you can convince your parents that you should be ok walking alone or with your friends, and purchase a cell phone to call your parents (or someone else such as the police) if you are in a dangerous situation.  Whenever you go out somewhere, like to your friends or to a park, tell your parents where you are going, and fice them a phone number so if they need to contact you, they can do so.  IF it is a nice day outside, and you want to sit out in your front porch to get fresh air, tell your parents that you do not need someone sitting with you.

Have a talk with your parents that you are no longer a little kid, and you would like to go places without your mother, and if you do go to certain places with your friends, explain to your parents that most places you to go to that there will be adult supervision.   For an example, if you would like to go to a place that is for kids such as a teen center, which is a place where kids your age can hang out, and be together with your friends, and you can play board games, or just do homework etc, there will be adult supervision. Explain to your parents that you do not hang out with "gangs" or hanging out with the wrong people.

Tell your parents when you walk to and from school, tell your parents the route will be taking to and from school; therefore, your parents know what roads you take too and from school.  Tell them that you are a "big boy" now and you are old enough to walk to and from school and don't need a ride to and from school unless the weather is bad such as rain.

Best thing to do is sit down with both of your parents and explain your situation when they are not busy with other things.

Good Luck

Answer 9

talk to them about how you feel. but make sure they won't interrupt, i usually ask my parents to just listen if it's something really important and i don't want them to say anything until i'm finished. try to work something out with them.

hope this helped!<3

Answer 10

parenst worry although that is bit much. Explain to them that it is much harder to be aducted when you are with a group. If you want to go to a friends say i'll call you when I get there and before I leave so you know where I am you cna even do that beofe you step inside teh school call them and call before you leave for school and if you wanna walk home with you friedns say I'll be hime n a few me and so and so are going to walk homes you'll see me i two minutes. I mean unless you live in a dangerous city there really is no reason but  you are there baby no matter how old you get.