My parents are so overprotective!?

Question

I'm 13 years old and they treat me like i'm 5 ! Here are some examples of how they're overprotective.

My primary school was 1-2 minutes away from my house. It was just around the corner. My parents didn't let me walk there alone until I was in year six. It was so embarrassing to be 10 years old and still escorted to the school gate. Now i'm in high school and nothing has changed (my mother drives me). I wanted to walk home with my friends, but my parents said no because they think i'll be abducted and killed. I told them that i'd be with 7 other people, but they didn't care. They said you can be abducted no matter who you're with. I'm not even allowed to step out the front door without my parents escorting me (they think i'll be abducted). Furthermore, I cannot go to a friends house unless my parents know their parents and when i'm there they call me every five minutes. I feel like i'm trapped in the house. I can't go anywhere or do anything unless it's with my mother and i'm way too old for that.

It's not like they have a reason to be overprotective. I'm responsible and get the best grades in my year. So what can I do ? I want to be able to step outside without having to ask my mother to come with me & I want to go and have fun like other people my age.

Answer 1

You have to understand a parents point of view, i too am also a overprotective parent. Parents do think the worst only because we hear the god awful stuff that happens in this world and cant imagine that happening to our children and by not letting it happen is to only protect our children from harm. Do you honestly think, if a man pulled you in the car you would be able to get away from him? Parents think about this stuff. It's not because your not responsible, it's because parents hate the feeling about something happening to their children regardless of their age. I'm 46, My parents still worries about me if I travel alone to visit my sister 2 hours away. I thought the same as you when I was your age and thought my parents were just being mean and unfair, really there NOT! they just love you so much. You will understand when you have your own, trust me on this one Please!  Just be thankful you have parents that care deeply for you. You could not imagine the heart ache a parent goes through when they don't know where their child is.

Answer 2

Your parents love you very much and you are obviously very very special to them. I can understand when you were at primary school, because even though you live around the corner you were sill young, and at my son's school all the parents still collected them until they left at the age of eleven. I agree that now you have moved on to high school and are thirteen it is reasonable to allow you some freedom, and allow you to go to school on your own. Is there any reason they are so overprotective? Did anything happen to them when they were younger. or has there been cases of abduction in the news near to where you live? I would suggest talking to your parents and asking these questions. I would aim for a little compromise, as your parents aren't suddenly going to give you free rein. If you want to go to a friends house whose parents they don't know, suggest they call the mum just to ask if its ok for you to come over and what time to pick you up. Also suggest your mum leaves her mobile number in case you need to get in touch with her. Ask them to only phone you in emergencies as it is embarrassing you to be checked up on. Invite your seven friends over to your house so your mum can see how sensible the whole group is. It is hard for parents to let go, i know as i am one, but i had to allow my son some freedom otherwise it just gets worse. However, it is your parents responsibility to parent you how they see fit and without knowing their reasons it is hard to give more concrete advice. Just sit them down, say how stifling their worries are, and as i said ask them not to call unless they have to. Let them meet your friends and they may well let you out with them. And lastly, i know it is hard now, but in just a couple of years they will have to give you freedom. You are lucky that your parents care so much, and i'm sure when you are older you will appreciate them. Good luck :-) ps keep up the good grades

Answer 3

i understand your situation, because I have parents who are as overprotective as yours... i also understand how you wanted to explore the world on your own, but i also do understand why your parents can get as crazy as this... and i tell you, i've heard alot of stories of people getting hurt by some random people...

many people, who are alot less fragile than you are, get hurt or die because of this cruel world, influenced by poverty, drugs, greed and many more other reasons... i know this may be overreacting but people trafficking is very very rampant in our world today, and that's the reason why they keep saying you can get abducted... and it's true that it may happen to you no matter who you're with because, when something bad happens, you're all on your own... it's possible that even your friends wouldnt be able to help you... you can get hurt anytime... and that's the last thing a parent wanted for his/her child...

your parents simply wanted the best life for you... if they have all the ways to protect you from harm, they do it for you... as much as your parents wanted you to explore the world yourself, they wouldnt risk your safety just for that because they don't trust the people around you... remember that you are much more precious than the most valuable thing in the world to your parents... and they will do everything to take good care of you....

Answer 4

Your parents need help, psychological help and bad if they are that worried you'll get abducted.

I understand being concerned but that's mental.

If you have adult family members to talk to about this, try and have them talk to your parents because they are paranoid and need some serious help.

How are they going to deal with you leaving their house and living on your own?

They need to get help soon, or you'll suffer a lot when you are 18 and ready to leave.

Answer 5

We get that.  We know how you feel.  You don't understand though, and you won't for a long time.  It's just not worth that 5 minutes of horrific that could happen to you.  Abductors, drug pushers, boys trying to get you alone, or a drunk driver tearing around the corner.  Parents make a choice between keeping you safe, and the path of least resistance (means giving you what you want just to move on) and they make it every day, for different situations.  

It's not that we don't care how you feel.  We do, usually more than we let on.  But danger's everywhere, and at your age, we set the bar low... most of what we try to do is just get you from 14 to 25 alive and safe.  Good luck, hang in there.  They're not the enemy they appear to be, and their objective isn't to make you miserable.

Answer 6

This happened to an old boyfriend of mine.

So what he did is sat his mum down and said "If you don't let me have abit of slack now, I'll end up not wanting to come back when I'm older".

Sit them down to talk about how you feel, but do it calmly and maturely, they are your parents, and as a parent myself I'd rather my daughter come to me and talk rather than feeling suffocated....

Good luck youth!!  

Answer 7

Are you an only child? if so your mum might be finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that you are growing up so quickly and she might be finding it hard to "let go" sit her down and ask why she won't let you go out on your own? do you live in a rough area for example is there lots of gangs violence crime??

Explain to her that you appreciate her wanting to protect you but she also needs to let you experience things on your own, explain that your not expecting her to let you out late at night on you own but just to let you so shopping with your friends once in awhile so she can learn to trust you and you can build up alot of trust from you mum.

Hope this helps. x