My poetry what do you think?

Question

I was just another fallen angel

Wings drooped upon the floor

There's no beauty to them

They're worth nothing anymore

Places where the utmost beauty were

Now the holes of pain reside

There's no feelings left anymore

Nothing more to hide

How much longer until this stops

The pain, the hurt subsides

When can this stop feeling wrong

When can I stop dying inside

I have to pick myself up

To make this all go away

Patch up the holes in my wings

And learn how to fly again

I may not have the perfect wings

I've always wished for and adored

But I'll have to work with what I got

And show them, my life means more

I won't let myself fall anymore

Won't let them see me cry

I'll prove them wrong, I'll get back up

And teach these broken wings to fly.

Thank you...

Answer 1

I was just another fallen angel

Wings drooped upon the floor

There's no beauty to them

They're worth nothing anymore

I would change up some of the lines. Maybe wings dropped upon the floor, or wings withered upon the floor. For some reason drooped doesn't work for me (IMO of course)

"They're worth nothing anymore"

Perhaps instead They're not worthy anymore

I have to pick myself up

To make this all go away

Patch up the holes in my wings

And learn how to fly again

Everything seems to be rhyming (2nd and 4th lines) and then I came across this one. It seems the rhyme fell out. If it is going to follow that rhythm then i would fix that part

I think it just needs to be cleaned up here and there. It has alot of promise

Answer 2

it's not the worst poem i've ever read. you need to change the first line of paragraph 2 to "places where the utmost beauty was" because right now it is grammatically incorrect

Answer 3

a few grammar errors but i think its really good. u did a good job of making it deep w/o being dark and making it meaning ful w/out being emo