My question is this. (See details)?

Question

If there is a guy on a train heading from Spain to New Jersey at 70 kilometres and he decides to set himself on fire, and he dies in Botswana, and the date is March 13 at 2:38 P.M., and the temperature outside is 24 degrees Celsius, and there is an eastern wind at 5 kilometres per hour, and there are sparse cirrus clouds in the sky at an elevation of 3000 feet, and the moon is 3/7 full, and the Stock Market is up 2 points, and a the conducter on the train is thinking about how good sandwiches taste, and a guy in Nigeria is recieving 3000 dollars from a scam, and Brookers is acting stupid like she always does, and Tom Cruise is off burning crosses and buying elevator shoes, and Pepsi is currently making a Diet Vanilla Cherry Berry Caramel Bubble Gum Ice Cream Chocolate Shoe flavored soda, and some kid in art class is sniffing the Sharpies, and some guy in his closet in Luxembourg is petting his cat, and there is a monkey in South America who is throwing f***s at Jane Goodal, what's 2+2?

Answer 1

The answer is obvious. It is pie.

Answer 2

Well, you see, since the moon was 3/7 full and the velocity of the train was 70km SW, the werewolves on the train wouldn't yet be able to attack Tom Cruise for buying elevator shoes, the moon and Tom Cruise cancel out, like y/y. Since the man is on fire and he died in Botswanna, he is also out of the equation. So that means that the cirrus clouds took him out by not raining and putting out the fire, therefore cirrus clouds are out of the equation. In the end, the answer would be Confucius, because it just is.

Answer 3

4