Need advice on adoption?

Question

ok, so its like this

in about 3 years when im 21 i want to adopt a very young black boy. i know this sounds racist but i want to do this because i dont think i could ever marry a black girl. not cuz im racist but i just don't think it would work. i would also like eto raise him jewish like me. do u think my future wife would love the child ( i plan on marrying a jewish girl).

thanks fo rany advice

Answer 1

who every you marry must love your child if she loves you remember that so........If she don't love your child then she don't love you................children are gods gifts and I am very happy that you are taking the change and giving some luck child a home your a wonderful person..........wow

Answer 2

This question is very odd....what does adopting and african american boy have to do with your ability to marry and african american girl?

As a caucasian woman who has adopted transracially it appears to me you may have some conflict. Do not think for one moment you will not have to confront the issue of race when adopting transracially. Twenty one is VERY young. I am uncertain you would even be approved by an agency. Do you have an extended diverse family? Will this african american child she surrounded by only Jewish people? What if the child has been raise as a Christian....Muslim....Budhist? Are you prepared to foster this child's religion? How about his heritage? These are all very important issues that need to be addressed before adopting transracially.

Answer 3

If you plan to adopt a black child before you are married, then you'll find out soon after she meets your son how she feels about it. If you're doing it because you want to "save him" then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And I'm not talking about race. A child doesn't ask to be adopted. You have to have other reasons, like because you want to expand your family, or you want to because you want a child. These reasons aren't wrong to admit. Just keep in mind when you hit the teen years (they can be a bad dream for adoptive parents and parents that didn't adopt), they won't be thanking you for adopting them, and they shouldn't. Parenting in general is tough, and adding adopting a child onto it can make life complicated. Just make sure this is something you want to do before you do it.

I don't think that saying you can't see yourself adopting a black girl as racist. I can't see myself dating a Mongolian man, and it has nothing to do with race.

You might have a tough time adopting at twenty one, no matter what race you adopt, simply because few agencies, the state you live in, and birthmoms will think you're mature enough to adopt a child at that age. Also, do you plan to go to college? Adopting a kid (when not through foster care) is very expensive, you might want to get a start on the college loans and get job stability before you do this undertaking.  If you plan on adopting internationally, then the starting rage is usually twenty five to thirty years of age and a steady job, an ability to raise the child for the long term basis, and the space to do it in. You could look around, but let me suggest that you wait until you're at least twenty-five.

I hope this helps,

Skatergurljubulee

Answer 4

I think you better think again.

Answer 5

it would depend on the person you marry but if she doesn't than she isn't the one you should marry its not right to  not love a child so if you find a women who is like that than its her loss

well good luck on your search :)

Answer 6

I think it's great that you want to adopt a boy. Raise him how ever you want. And I think the your future wife will adore this child like you would. I definitely do not think it's a bad idea. Best of luck!

xoxo

-Blah

Answer 7

I guess it would depend on who you marry - but I think you need to consider adoption with your wife and take all your needs/abilities and thinking into consideration.  So, it's alittle early to be deciding.    Now, why black?  And are you incapable of having your own children?

Answer 8

please tell me that this is a fu#ckin' joke!

first... black women are not just squirting out kids so that they can be adopted and paraded around like little trinkets for the first caucasion person who writes a check.

second...if you don't think a relationship will work out with a black woman (which i'm curious to know how you are so sure of this) then why even step into this arena?  

third...please don't s***w up a child with your twisted dogma.  no child (regardless of race) deserves that.

fourth...please don't adopt.