Need jokes?

Question

im doin a stand up for my school talent shows,,whats good for school jokes

Answer 1

Don't do knock knock jokes, and don't steal jokes from comedy shows, because people watch them.  Come with jokes about fellow friend or class mates, but don't mention their names, in fact use different names to replace them.  Use old jokes, and make them your own. There's a lot you can do.

Krazy Libra

Answer 2

What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives through the stop sign... a stoner waits for it to turn green.



A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"

If you do stoner jokes at school, you will NO DOUBT get laughs

Answer 3

What do you call an idiot who does a talent show without having any talent?

Shinigami!

Answer 4

Talk about the cafeteria food.

Answer 5

make up jokes about your little sister or brother example:my little sister is so weird mom gave her candy she threw it in the garbage,she gave her cookie it went in the garbage too but when dad gave her broccoli she ate it and ask for more.

My little brother is a trip he never does his home work i think last night he tried feeding it to the dog,hoping that he could tell his teacher that the dog ate it.

Answer 6

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes for heads, and no for tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

Answer 7

Why do seagulls fly by the sea??????

hmmmm......

if  they flew by the bay they'd be bagels........  (get it .. baygulls)

ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha