Need more respect from my daughter.

Question

Part of this is my fault for having more of a friend-daughter realtionship when she was younger. I was young when I had her and had a bad exhusband so her and I were very close. Now that I have gotten older and she is 10 by the way, I realize how she needs to respect me as her mother. I have been working hard for 2 years on changing this disrepectful behavior and it is a challenge. Any advice!?

Answer 1

You know, as much as this answer may really stink, I don't think you can have a friend-daughter relationship until much much later (after responsibility and respect have formed). My parents got divorced when I was young (about 7) and Dad was a no-show. My Mom raised my sisters and I, but in completely different fashions. My older sister and I were raised with discipline and responsibility. My younger sister, being the baby in the family, around the age of 5 began to realize that she could play off the distant daddy card to get what she wanted. That was about 13 years ago, and Jessie, the youngest, is completely out of control now. She shows no respect for herself or my Mom, and at the age of 18, it's too late for my Mom to make the massive changes needed before my younger sister leaves the house.

Besides having grown up and experienced it, I've done quite a lot with teaching children of all ages. The need and crave disciple and structure. Stick on it. Don't inspire hatred or malice with constant nagging and distrust, but more show her that you are serious and don't give in, despite how difficult it may be. There are so many reason they say being a mother is the hardest job, and this is one of them!

Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't have an older daughter or son,

  But was kinda in the same situation with my mom.  We were more friendly with each other due to my father and her splitting up.  So by the time I became a teenager I really felt as if she was my friend instead of my mother and thought that I was grown, which I was in most cases just not in the eyes of my mother.  I was told by my grandmother and other older folks that you are suppose to be a child's parent not their friend because one day it will back fire on you.  Also you should start at an early age with you child trying to train them.  I know and have heard that if you wait till there half way grown and supposed to be leaving your house, then you will have many problems with them respecting you like they should, because you haven't tried to put them in the habit of doing this early on in life and for a while.  The best thing I could tell you to do is not give up on her and still try to enforce your rules, and let her know what is expected of her so she will know.  If she still continues to rebel I would let her do that for only a while considering it might just be a phase to let her try to find her self.  But if it continues and continues, then other measures need to be enforced.  Such as timeout, punishment(your choice and your imagination) or sending her off for a little while to live with her father if he will take her to see that mommy isn't as hard on her as she thinks she is and to let her know that no can do you like your mom or love as much as your mom.

Answer 3

No Advice Just

Be Like

Whatever

And Start

Acting

Like she does

then she will see how it is

then

think

what do u do to earn her respect

Answer 4

Just remember that you need to be both persistent and consistent.  My parents fit both of these bills and I came out the better for it.

Answer 5

Respect is a two way street respect her and she will respect you.

Answer 6

I get where your coming from, the same thing kinda happend with me and my mom. My mom and me always had a very friend like realationship, and sometimes i'd treat her more as a friend then my mom. Pretty much what happend was that i ended up loosing alot of my freedom, untill she saw that i treated her with more respect, and more like my mother. So latley, i do, since i kept on getting in trouble, and not being able to do anything, i decided that i needed to change, and i did. So i guess showing her that your the boss, and that she needs to give you more respect, to get anything.

good luck :)