OMG! wedding problems?

Question

My friend wants me to ask people this question as she isn't signed up and well, it's one question so, her dad is marrying her step mum but she doesn't exactly like her, she is really harsh and still treats my Friend as if she is a little child and she is 14! whenever my friend trys to talk to her about it she gets rude and defensive, it's sooo unfair and she doesn't know how else to say how she feels. aslo she has spoken to her dad but he won't listen! he is to busy with wedding stuff i just don't know what to suggest to her, help please x

Answer 1

Tell her to talk to someone else in the family about how she feels.  

Answer 2

What does she want to happen? Does she want a better relationship with her step mom - or does she just want the relationship with her step mom and father to end? It sounds like ending the relationship isn't going to happen...and it's best for her not to get involved with that.

I would suggest asking her step mom if she'd like to go out for lunch or something. This way she can talk with her in private. She can tell her that she really wants to get along, but sometimes feels like she treats her like she is a little kid. Hopefully a talk will get things out in the open.

If that doesn't work, then there isn't much she can do. She can keep trying...and luckily in 4 years she will be going away to college so she won't have to deal with it as much anymore.  

Answer 3

try to be nice...shes not being mean to you on purpose shes looking out for you like a mother would

Answer 4

When two people are in love than you need to let them be, even if you do not agree with their choices. You can not tell someone who they can love or who they cant. The heart is too powerful for that. Your friend will grow up and understand this when she falls in love. All she can do now is to love her dad and let her dad make his decisions. Time will tell if their relationship will workout or not. Have you ever heard the saying if it is the will of God let no man put under.

Answer 5

Has she tried talking to her mom about it? I take it she lives with her dad but I assume she sees her mom on weekends at least. Maybe she can go live with her mom for now until these issues are settled. Even if the courts have granted her dad custody, usually the courts will allow a 14 year old to have a say in who he/she would prefer to live with.

If that isn't an option, maybe she can talk to an aunt or other relative who can speak to her father on her behalf about how she feels. Hopefully that will open her father's eyes up. I wish her all the luck.

Answer 6

do what my friend did when his dad got married.. make her life h**l

Answer 7

Tell her to kill her with kindness. This will make her step mom think that she cares about her and maybe that's what she wants. If she is super nice, it normally rubs off on other people. She'll get respect if she gives respect. She can't make her Dad not want to marry this woman so she might as well be happy that he's happy. It's only 4 more years. If she can't take it, ask her Dad to go to family therapy with her. Maybe he needs a professional to open his eyes.

Answer 8

Honestly? Deal. No one likes their step-parent. I understand. It's like having someone else coming in, trying to parent you. But at 14, you still are a child! It doesn't seem like it now, but look back in a few years and you'll feel the same way. She should be happy that her dad was able to find love again. Tell her to maturely and calmly tell her father her concerns, but if they're at the stage where he's already planning the wedding, I doubt he'll change his mind.  

Answer 9

She's not gonna stop her Dad from getting married, so there's no point in talking to him.  Her future step mom might be willing to listen if your friend talks to her in a reasonable manner.  At least make it possible to get along.  She's not gonna stop this woman from marrying her Dad, either.

Your friend needs to step back, take a new look at all this, and try to find a brighter outlook on things.  

Answer 10

Tell her:  4 more years.

Hang in there.  It is only four years.  When she graduates from high school, she can move off to college.  Or she can leave home and start her own life.  It is good for your friend to have goals and to work toward those goals.  

If she still struggles in the meantime, suggest that she talk to a trusted adult.  Maybe the school guidance counselor?  The principal?  A trusted teacher or clergy person?  They can get her any help she needs . . . or possibly intervene with dad, if necessary.