Odd One Out...of the family?

Question

I guess the quickest way to explain would be to say I am the middle child. The one that has to work the hardest for a name because "the baby, and the first born" has already been taken.

Because of that, my two sisters get everything.

I KNOW i'm singled out! Like I'm the fat awkward one. Thats how i'm known. mom always gives me a dirty look when i'm in the kitchen.

Everyone always teases how I dress. i'm tired of being the dissapointment...the one not good enough! Does anyone understand that?? how can I change that?

Answer 1

What you need to do it to find your own niche. Stop relying on your parents and sisters for approval. What you are doing is looking to them to define you as a person instead of working to define yourself. You are letting them push you into a position where you ARE the " fat, awkward middle sister". Half the time, you're trying to be like your older sister, and be the mature one, and half the time, you try to be like your younger sister, because that seems to work for them, right? But it dosen't work, because those roles are already filled, leaving you with no defined identity, and feeling like you have no real place in your family. Like the person above me said, this is a well documented problem with middle children. Become your own person, and they'll start to appreciate you as a person, not just as another sibling or child! You aren't either of your sisters, so don't bother trying. Stop allowing yourself to be judged. If you're hungry, eat. Ignore the dirty looks. If you like your clothes, wear them. Start finding your own interests. If you like to read, join a book club. If you are interested in politics, join a discussion group. Take up sewing or knitting and create your own fashions. Be who and what YOU are, and instead of relying on them to tell you who you are, become the person you want to be and tell them yourself. You can do it! Everyone is good at something- even if you don't feel like you are. It may take time, but you'll find your passion. Go for it, no matter what your family has to say about it! Find yourself, and develop a strong sense of self, and you'll create your own place in your family, I promise. Just stop trying to be anyone but you. Best of luck, love, and e-mail me at [e-mail] if you ever need to talk. I'm here to listen, okay?

Answer 2

You are not imagining things or making up problems where none exist.  This is a well-known phenomenon of middle children.  Here is an excerpt from a very good article from India Parenting (link below).  Maybe you should leave it lying around where your parents can see it.

"Middle children often feel that they are neither here nor there. In their view, the roles of the older and younger siblings are more clearly defined. They may also feel cheated of parental attention that is given to the first-born achiever and the dependent youngest child. Some psychologists have given this condition a name - they call it "the middle-child syndrome"."

Read the article for tips on how being a middle child can be of benefit to you.  Since you are smart, you might be able to figure out some good coping strategies.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

Do you like yourself the way you are? If so don't worry what other people think.

I am the middle child also so I know where you are coming from. I got tired of trying to win everyone's approval so I decided to live for myself and figured if people can't accept me for who I am I don't need them. I have been happily married for 27 years now. I did have to make some changes, but it was definetly for the better and what helped was I had someone who accepted me the way I was and lovingly helped me.