Opinions on a poem I wrote?

Question

Well I've been writing poetry for a very long time, years, actually, as a way to get out my emotions. I actually have another, very used account on here but I'm very shy and embarrassed that people I know will read the poem I'm about to post.. So I'm somewhat making myself anonymous.

I bracketed the rhyming words because it's kind of a custom rhyme scheme, so you won't get confused. Here it is.

Is it {real}?

The way you {feel}, with [me]

The way you [see]

[Everything], the way you {touch}

My heart, and the way you {clutch} it in your hands

So tight, close to yours

The way I feel like everything will be [alright]

You comfort me in bliss or [spite], you make my {day}

Who would have known I'd feel this {way} with such a mess

Of a [mind], the way you change me, one of a [kind]

The way you hold me, warm and {safe}

How you stroke my {face} so softly gentle

You kiss my lips and above my [eyes]

The whispers, giggles, laughs and [sighs]

They make our love so perfect {together}

{Forever}

Answer 1

alsome

Answer 2

embarassed? pfft id bloody buy you a beer for that. its an excellent poem and i assume your in love? if so congrats if your with her! your poem shows a escalated show of intimacy that i respect.

Good luck and write more!

Ash

Answer 3

I think this poem is beautiful, but I found the brackets to be distracting. I had to copy it into another application and remove them and then read it and it was still just as lovely. The rhyme scheme is not difficult to discern. It is unique and a very important part of the charm of this piece.

You have no reason to be embarassed. You should proudly post this poem (without the brackets) under your real name. :)

Answer 4

it is a REALLY REALLY GOOD POEM

you write well...you shouldnt be shy i like the type of writing you do .....so keep on writing