Oppinion on my work? :)?

Question

Im writing a review on the movie jaws and I need your oppinion. This is NOT the final piece, this is just the plot of the film, I just want to know what you think, and if you think there is a way of improvement? :)

Based on a novel by Peter Benchley, ’Jaws’ pulls us into the small beach-front town of Amity, and in the life of Police chief Martin Brody when a sudden spate of killings hit the sea. Though Brody determines a shark is responsible, Mayor Vaughn refuses to do anything as this will mean no tourist profits on the 4th of July. However when several other killings take place, panic spreads like wild-fire and that is when Chief is joined by professional hunter Quint, and ichthyologist Mat Hooper to head out to sea on a hunt where their enemy seems more cunning than imagined.

Answer 1

The first sentence is a run on, you need a period after Amity.  "In" should be "into", "cheif" should be capitolized and then a comma after it.  "When" should begin a new sentence, comma after "sea" and connect following sentence by deleting "though".  "to do anything" is not descriptive and generic, don't use "this will mean".  Use a comma after "However", "like wild-fire" is cliche, don't use "that is when", comma after "hunter", "ichthyologist", and "Hooper".  Last sentence is a run-on as well.  (I'm not beign critical by the way, just trying to help!)

Answer 2

Sounds good to me, good job!!

Answer 3

This is a nice review for perhaps up to the sophomore level in high school.  To raise the bar a notch, I'd include more descriptive language and tighten some of those sentences a bit.