Parent-led or child-led weaning?

Question

I personally believe it should be the mother's decision of when to stop breastfeeding, NOT the child's decision.

The reason I feel this way is because babies and children cannot yet make responsible or reasonable decisions. I believe that should be the mother's job. Also, if you let the child wean themselves when they are ready, what if they decide to do it until they are, let's say 14. Shouldn't the mother be in charge? Why or why not? Please do not be rude! =D

Answer 1

In my view it is not a matter of responsbility it is a matter of when the child is ready for that nutritional and emotional change. No child will ever continue until 14, come on now that is ridiculous. Their taste buds change as they get older and will wean themselves off your breastmilk usually by 3 years. I think that if the mother really wants to wean them, then fine, but generally I say let the child do it. All of my kids weaned themselves between 24 and 27 months... the right amount of time according to the WHO.

Answer 2

Parent led. My child gets my body for 9 months to grow in. My child gets my body for nutrition. At a certain point, I want my body back. I wean my children at 13 months. At that point they are no longer a baby, eating solids, and can drink cow's milk. My son was a big baby and I honestly felt uncomfortable nursing a child that was as big as an 18 month old. He was also very curious and wiggly and was busy trying to watch big sister and see how far he could crane his neck (while eating, ouch!) and it hurt. I start sippy cups at 6 months, so at weaning they are ready to progress to their next stage of development. I didn't want my child exposing me or using words to ask for breastmilk, that's too much in my opinion.

Answer 3

I let my first babe ween himself, and i'll do it with this next one too, and here is why;

Kids know when they want solid food, they look interested, ask, and then take.  I was signing with my babe from 7 months on, he knew how to ask to nurse, ask for more, or ask for food.  Mushy, delicious baby food.  Eventually, he got way more interested in the intense flavors of mush food, and lost his latch anyway.  We were done nursing completely around 11 months.

I have one brother, and my mom told me that he nursed until he was over a year - When i came around, i wanted adult food at four months old.

It isn't an issue of 'responsible' decisions on the childs part - It is an issue of whether they are ready for solid foods.  Every kid digests a different way.  Some just aren't ready yet.

Mom's will be in charge for the rest of their life - It kind of sounds selfish and control-freakish to believe that you can just take the milk away one day.

Answer 4

There are children who choose to breastfeed occassionally for long periods of time - the oldest I've heard of is 8 years old.  Most children will wean themselves when they are ready to take the leap by the age of 3, if not then by the age of 5.  I personally do not feel that I would be comfortable breastfeeding until 5 years old but I think that may change as my child gets older and feel that maybe it has to do with the fact that things of that nature have become taboo in recent decades here in America.

I am currently breastfeeding a 6 month old and plan to go AT LEAST 15-18 months and then reevaluate as necessary depending on my child's interest.  I understand the benefits and have educated myself so that I can make a decision balanced between facts, emotions and instinct.

I think that it is up to both the mother AND the child.  I think that it is up to the mother to recognize the signs of weaning.  A child may be ready and willing at 18, 24 or 36 months but the mother has it in her mind to reach a certain 'age' or 'milestone' or is unaware and therefore reinforces that comfort and attachment.  I'm not saying it's wrong or that it's the case for everyone.  I think that each family should be let to make their own decisions regarding how they feed their child within reason.  I'm just explaining that I think that children do attempt to wean themselves between 1 and 3 years old and that the mother must also take part guiding them to that decision.

All in all, if a child is comfortable with it and the mother is comfortable with it and it truly isn't crossing boundaries beyond the comfort/security/taste association, to each their own.

On a bit of a side note:  I wonder if the children who ARE interested in weaning themselves later (such as to 3 or 5) are the same children who have dairy allergies or other digestive troubles?  I wonder also why we feed our kids milk from a cow teat instead of our own... hmmm.

Answer 5

I think breastfeeding is a two way street and should end whenever EITHER party wants it to. I chose to wean my son at 14-15 months because according to his pediatrician he didn't need breastmilk past the age of one year and I was ready to have my b*****s back! As mothers we sacrifice so much already- don't tell me I have to sacrifice my b***s until my kid says it's ok! Last time I checked I was in charge here... LOL

Answer 6

If you are truly weaning, and not just switching to formula, then the nutritional needs of the child should be paramount. You sound like you're in a pissing contest with your own child. This step in development should come naturally without anyone deciding. It just naturally happens.

In underdeveloped countries, nursing continues for several years so the child gets good nutrition. It also provides limited birth control. Some children can't digest cow's milk, so mother's milk is necessary.