Parents helping with homework ?

Question

ok, my kids are good kids and students, however we argue and go round and round when it comes to homework. they wont pay attention to me or listen. one, i need tips on helping better with homework. also they get home at 3 i say if its not done by 5:00 they can not go to soccer, school is more important, my husband feels the same way, but feels they need a break. they get home at 7:30 from soccer and by the time we are done with showers etc. there is no more time for homework. and i wont stay up late and argue for the rest of the night to allow them to finish. who do you agree with, not done no soccer. or take the break and hope it gets done. have a great day oh ya they are 2 of them in 4th grade

Answer 1

i agree with your not done no soccer idea! they are at the age that they learn allot. don't want them to think homework is not important.  

Answer 2

Give your children the choice each day, they may respond to that much better and will have some ownership in the matter.  I do agree that they do need a break after school, kids today are way over scheduled, it's not right to expect them to go to school all day and then come home and do homework right way.  

Answer 3

If they're in fourth grade, hopefully they don't have more than 40 minutes or so of homework.  I'd let them have a break when they first get home and at 4:15 or so then announce it's homework time.  And then I'd supervise to make sure they generally stay on task.  If they're still not done by 5 because they've been goofing off, I'd keep them home from soccer.  If they're still not done by then because there's more than 45 minutes of homework even when they're working reasonably hard at it, I'd talk to the teacher about what her expectations are for amount of time spent on homework (generally it's no more than 10 minutes per grade).

Answer 4

4th graders shouldn't have 2 hours of homework.  If they get home around 3, let them have a break for about 30 minutes or so, then homework time.  They should have plenty of time to complete their homework before 5.  I agree with the one comment about activities being important and I wouldn't tell them no soccer if it's not done.  If the homework doesn't get done, they will have to explain to the teacher why.    

Answer 5

I agree with both of you. School is important, but so is activity. Your kids NEED to be able to run and burn off some excess energy and even frustration. When they get home, they need to get their homework done right off I'd say, but I never tell my kids "if you don't get this done by _____ you can't go to basketball/gymnastics, etc". If your kids don't want to do their homework, let it slip. See what happens when they go to school without it being done. There is always consequences to that type of behavior. Maybe then they'd realize that what you're asking isn't so outrageous.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i agree with having them finish their homework before activities.  if they are tired, they will become fustrated much more easily, and not do as well as they could be since they are so tired.  

Answer 7

I would agree with you, not your husband. If they need a break, 2 hrs for soccer is too long. A 30 minute break would suffice, simply a walk around the block or tossing a ball around in the back yard.

My parents were the same way. If we wanted to get to football, soccer, OR basketball, we had to get our schoolwork done as that was MUCH more important.

Answer 8

I tell the parents of my students (fifth grade) that homework is the job of the child.  Part of what we are trying to teach kids is to manage time, to plan ahead and to be responsible. If parents keep nagging and pushing, the kids don't take ownership of the work.

I would provide a quiet place and a snack, and let them handle it themselves. If it doesn't get finished, they'll have to deal with the consequences the next day in school (maybe miss recess, maybe have extra work to finish while other kids read or color).  

I do encourage parents to limit the out of school activities that the kids are doing; one or two per week is plenty at this age.  They need time to rest, daydream and do absolutely nothing, too!!

If you are having real battles over the work, please speak to the teacher and make a plan.

Answer 9

My parents stopped helping me with homework completely around 1st grade. I became very independent and responsible, because I quickly realized that if I didn't do it, nobody was, and I'd be the one to suffer for it. Your kids may miss recess for a few days, but after a while, they'll realize they need to step it up. 4th grade is plenty old enough to have responsibility and be able to understand that it's their future, their grades, and their life. They may be arguing with you because they don't want help. Don't take it the wrong way - it's an independence thing. If they're playing soccer every night, that might be a big too much for them to handle. If they're really struggling though, it may be that the class is too challenging or not challenging enough - a lot of times when kids don't see a "purpose" in something they'll think they're wasting their time, and nobody likes to waste time.

Tell them the consequences they'll have, and if it's not done by such and such a time, they'll have to face no soccer and more punishment at school. Give them about a half hour after school to have a snack and relax for a bit. Get them started around 3:30, and offer to help, but if they don't need it, don't push it. When they're a little older, maybe in middle school, tell them they can play as long as they'd like, but if they're homework still isn't done in time, they're not going to soccer. It will teach them responsibility and time management. In 4th grade there's really no reason they couldn't have their work done in an hour and a half.