Parents if your teenage daughter

Question

Lets say you have a 15 y/o daughter. She smokes, drinks and takes drugs but has tried to stop. She's sexually active and has bad grades in school. You've done your best to control all these things but she still does them, you're aware that she's had a lot of hurt in her past as well.

She then admits to you that shes feeling depressed and you take her to see a doctor but she barely talks. She decides to leave it and a few weeks later things get worse. She ends up in hospital with alcohol poisoning and sees a psychiatrist. 2 weeks later, she ends up in hospital after taking an overdose to try and kill herself.

You do everything you can but she ends up committing suicide.

How do you feel? How would you cope?

Answer 1

i know i wouldn't be able to cope with that.  but if i had to deal with it, i would keep her in the hospital for a while and have the psychiatrist deal with her there.  it would be hard to just keep her there but if would be for her own good.  also maybe switching schools, and starting over cuz its hard to be a new, better person when you're just going back to the same environment everyday.

Answer 2

Losing a child is the worst pain there is.  I'm sure I'd be second guessing all the decisions I made and wondering what I could have done differently.   I would seek counseling to help me cope with the loss and hopefully have a different outcome for my other children.  I would still need to be strong for them.

Answer 3

im not a parent, i myself am a child. but i would feel depressed myself if i had a daughter that committed suicide. i would give her all the help that she can get. i think that you went too soft on her, thats why she did the things that she did. i would live a day at a time. i would survive for my daughter and treat life like it's a treasure.  

Answer 4

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some birth control for his 12 year old daughter.

The pharmacist says "You mean to tell me that your 12 year old daughter is sexually active?"

The dad says "No, she just lays there like her mother."

The moral is, I shouldn't have kids.

Sorry, I don't know if this answers your question or not.

Answer 5

id feel like p**p

Answer 6

With any death there are questions.  You need to seek help both religious and psychological help in order to deal with this.

Death is hard on everyone, but it is especially hard on parents when they loose their children.

Get some professional help.

Answer 7

I would be devastated if one of my daughters killed herself.

In the scenario you report, I think I would probably do as you describe.  

I think I might take my daughter to a therapist as soon as I knew she was involved in drugs and wanted to quit.  Substance abuse is a terrible illness which requires professional care.

If she was not comfortable with her therapist, I would help her find a different therapist.  She needs to be comfortable and able to trust if therapy is to help.

It sounds like things in your scenario spiraled quickly and you were not able to react quickly enough.  It sounds like you responded best you could and still was not enough.  I am so sorry for your loss.  (I assume that it is your loss.)  All you can do is ask what more was to be done.  If you gave your daughter the attention she needed, please remember that you did what you could.

Answer 8

whats so bad about smokin?

BTW, i'd be sad and mad at myself and i'd pray everyday for god 2 have mercy and take her into heaven

god bless

Answer 9

i aint no parent but id feel like i tried my best, there was nothing i couldve done to stop this from hapnin, it was her time

Answer 10

I would feel like I didn't help her out enough. If your really commited to helping your daughter than I think all of that could be prevented

Answer 11

I would feel distraught, I wouldn't know that to do! That is horrendous.  

Answer 12

I would have to go to a support group for parents that have lost their children. If this is you this has happened to, you said you tried everything, then you at least where trying to help her. She made up her mind when she decided to take her life and you can't blame yourself for it. It was her choice. It may be harsh of me to say this, but she is  resting, you need to care about yourself now and your health. If you have other kids they still need you.

Answer 13

...uhhhh, like ****? What are you expecting someone to say? That they'd feel happy-go-lucky?

I can't even imagine how someone would cope with that. That would definitely be one of the worst things that could happen to a parent.

Answer 14

I would feel I was a very bad parent

Answer 15

send her to rehab - nothing else u can do?

Answer 16

How would i feel? Well i wouldnt know since i was raised in a good household where those kind of things just dont happen and i am raising my daughters in a Moral Christian house where they are learning about self respect and not about being a tramp.  

Answer 17

I would feel profound shame eternally.  This is obviously lack of parenting early on.  Many parents let kids run wild when little then expect them to behave when teens.  Patterns are set when they are little.  This behave was all a warning sign.  Should have been to therapy all along not just when issues where obvious to the world.  Lazy parenting is this nation's epidemic.  

**************************************...

If this is your story or a friends story the only way to cope is through therapy or faith.

Answer 18

God is the only way to achieve peace.  Trust me, go to God. Pray, got to church, read your bible tell him your worries, He takes all the burdins.

Answer 19

i would disown her.  

Answer 20

Say I've done the best job I could and she would still chose this way of life, then I would have to apply tough love. Be there for her but not support any of what she is doing. Let her know that I am here to listen without judgement but not to encourage or enable her lifestyle. Then I would pray for her as well and leave up to God to deal with  what I know is out of my control.  

Answer 21

I dont think you did the best you could as a parent. You should of put standars there for her. You should of told her to be home at a certain time and if she wasn't you should of punished her.  

Answer 22

well i am not a parent but this is what my aunt did to my cusion cause she did all that she gronded her 4 a year and had no friends over and she was not aloud to go anywhere so it has been 2 years so far and she dose no drugs she is not sexuly active and she dose not smoke so i hope i helped

Answer 23

is this your daughter your talking about?  i cant believe this is just a hypothetical question

Answer 24

Not A Parent: i would feel that its my fault she did all of that, because i never raised her right or i never gave her enough attention- that she wanted. honestly i think i would end up doing the same thing too (depression, suicide)

Answer 25

I don't think you've done everything you could when she was younger. You say she's 15 and that she has smoked, drink, and takes drugs. Well who is she hanging out with and why are you letting her hang out with them? She's not old enough to drive.

I think that you should take back control of your young teens life. Be her friend and be her mother better yet.  

Answer 26

Is this a Lifetime Movie? Sounds pretty drastic...

If this happened with me and my daughter I would blame myself... Even though I tried everything I could to save her, I will always feel like I could have done more. I would feel as if I failed to be a good parent, I let her down.

Answer 27

I would try not to blame myself b/c, like you said, I've tried everything to help her.  At 15, you are somewhat of an adult (or have more of a mind of one).  You know what's right & wrong & what concequences are.  To take her own life is selfish b/c she didn't want to help herself; instead she chose to hurt those who loved her (that's more from the outside looking in).  Hope this helps!

Answer 28

for anyone who has gone through this this is either a really bad mother or their daughter is crazy to the max.

Answer 29

I would send her to a rehab center. Drinking smoking drugs and sexual activity are all things that she is a little young for. If she wants to change then that is the best way to do it. They will take her for about 30 days and give her advice and there will be no way she will have access to any of the things she needs to stop.

I would feel upset, I might feel that maybe I could have done something differently, but then i would realize that everything happens for a reason, and this could end up making her stronger in the end.  

Answer 30

Many people will disagree with me, but...   Someone who tried to kill themself twice and succeeds...   wanted to die.  It hurts, and it would be hard, but I would respect that decision.

You cope by seeing a psychologist your self.

Answer 31

How do you feel?? HORRIBLE of course!  No parent wants to lose a child...  You'll prob always wonder if you did absolutely everything you could to prevent this... You'll prob always blame yourself.....  The only suggestion I can say is to seek counseling for yourself or you will end up in the same boat.

How would you cope? Look to GOD for strength!