Passive 6-year-old boy?

Question

My son is very well mannered and has no problems with sharing, but there are a few girls on our street that only come down to play with him because he has power wheels cars...they come and bogart his toys, and he won't ask them for a turn unless prompted by me. If the toys are dead, they make an excuse not to play. If they don't come down, my son is actually hurt that these girls are not playing with him. I try to tell him that he either needs to be more bold and ask for a turn or not allow them to play if they can't share properly (with HIS toys). They have come down here wanting to play with his toys when he wasn't home! I don't want to outwardly ban him from playing with these girls because that isn't going to help him (and will probably just make him feel worse). DH says not to always get involved and let DS handle it but I also don't want DS to become a mat for them to walk on (which is how I was as a kid). Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Try talking to the girl's parents. Try to get their parents to talk to their kids.

That's the only thing I can think of.

Answer 2

Try to become friends with the girls parents and maybe this way your son can go over to play and use their toys for once!

Answer 3

Be firme make it aware to them that they will not be allowed to play with your sons toys unless they play with your son. Also keep an eye on them make them clean up after they are through playing or they will not come over again. Does your son have any friends at school that he can have over? You don't want your son to think that his value is only measured with material things. One of my sons is a push over and I told him he needed to stand up for himself or he was not going to have those "friends" over anymore.

Answer 4

Try to find your son some new friends that like him for who he is.

Answer 5

I would just continue to encourage your son to be assertive, and give him more play strategies. I would either talk to the girls about how they are to behave when they are in your house, OR talk to their parents about how they are behaving in your house. The parents may not realise, and may be embarrassed when they hear how these girls are behaving.

Don't push your son, though, some children are more passive in play, and that is OK. We all have different personalities, and if he is happy about it, you should accept it.

Answer 6

Does he have friends from say maybe school or daycare?  How about inviting them over to play with him so he has others to play with instead of the bratty little girls.  The sad thing is that once they outgrow the power wheels they aren't going to play with him unless he has some other cool toy.  I have had that same problem with my neighbor kids.  We have the pool and a designated game room with game systems (Wii, xbox, playstation), pool table etc.  Last summer, the kids came to play in the pool and when my son suggested they do something else the two boys said they were going to the ones house and that my son couldn't come.  That was the last time they swam in my pool.  We invited some of his friends from school and found other things so that he didn't have his feelings hurt since my son was old enough to catch on.  

Since eventually he is going to catch on that they are using him, I would find other friends for him to play with so the girls go away.  He would have more fun playing with someone who really does want to play games and such with your son plus he would see what real friends are like.

Answer 7

What you want for your son is assertiveness, not boldness.

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