Picking my own engagement ring?

Question

Me and my bf have been together almost 4 years. Yesterday he was talking to his mom and she said that it was time he gave me something since we've been together so long. I was talking to him later and he asked me if I pick my own ring or if he is supposed to choose it. He is from El Salvador so I don't think he knows what is "normal" here in the U.S. I wasn't sure what to say so I told him we could look at rings together to see what I like and looks nice on me. The more I think about it though, I think maybe I should just tell him basically what I want (white gold, round or princess cut, sidestones) and let him pick it on his own. I'm leaning towards looking at some with him first because I think it would be fun to try some different ones on. What do you think?

Answer 1

def. go and try different styles on. after looking at many rings, i told my husband what cut, metal and basic style i wanted. how much he spent was entirely up to him.(i hear it's 3 months salary now.)

you are the one that has to wear it for the rest of your life so it might as well be a ring you LOVE.

Answer 2

If you think that he may pick out a ring you will be unhappy with, then I say drop suggestions such as what you told us (white gold, round, etc) or show him pictures!  Other than that, let him pick it!

Answer 3

My fiance and I picked my engagement ring together, and I highly recommend it! This way you get the ring you absolutely love and the pressure is off him! You won't regret it!

Answer 4

In this day and age, you can go to the store together, pick it out and wear it the same day if you want!! But, do what <i>you</i> feel is comfortable. Also, you may think you know what you want, but then you try something else on and you like that just as much or more. I went with my fiance and I got to try some on and then he had a little list of what I liked so he could go pick one out on his own. It was nice to see something, but it also made me really anxious because I knew that meant he'd be proposing soon!! <br><br>Good luck!!

Answer 5

Give him hints of what you like, like showing him pictures in magazines, or pointing something out in a jewelry store. don't just tell him or he might think you know what is going on, which will ruin the element of surprise. over time he will get the hint

Answer 6

If you are planning to have your engagement ring be part of your wedding band, then I suggest you help him out a bit. Not completely pick it, but give him an idea of the cut and color you might like to see.

I don't think it's a big deal if you pick it, but I liked not knowing exactly what my ring looked like when my husband proposed. He got me a princess cut, and white gold. A little twist, he had the stone turned 45 degrees :)

I wanted to wear it as part of my wedding band so I got a wrap for it. Which i did pick out.

good luck, and I hope you get that ring!!

Answer 7

I think the engagement ring should be more about the guy and what he wants it to be. It should be a reflection of his tastes, not the woman's.

Am I the only woman who is sick of other women always feeling they have to control everything concerning the guy they are with? If the guy isn't going to have any say in anything or to display his taste and opinions, then why the h**l do you want him around? It seems like the guy is just there to get stuff from as far as most of you are concerned.

Get this. Traditionally the engagement ring is supposed to be about the guy. It is supposed to reflect the way he feels about his intended. If accepted, then wearing it is a display of the woman's affection and acceptance of the guy.

All of the women who want a hand in choosing their engagement ring care more about themselves than the guy they are intending to marry, IMHO. They are side stepping tradition to once again make everything about themselves. Heaven forbid that there should be any reflection of him in anything she wears.

Answer 8

You should show him pics of designs you like in jewelry ads or online.  But let him shop for the ring on his own.  It could put pressure on him if he chooses a ring and you say "No that's so ugly" or pick things above the price range he had in mind.  They get so much pride when they pick out something perfect...it's half their fun.  That doesn't mean you can't go try on few designs by yourself to check that you want what you think you want.  For instance I swore I wanted a marquis cut ring until I saw it on my hand!

Just let him know that if he decides he's really swamped by all the options or culture clash you will be happy to help.  I loved the suprise of not knowing what I was getting and to see how his love for me translated into a design.

Just let the decison to shop with you or not come from him. :)

Answer 9

go shopping its fun.  let him know what u like.  if u find one u like let him know.  i dont think there is anything wrong with it.  this is something u will wear forever.

Answer 10

Go for a day to just look.  Try soem on so you are sure what you have in mind if what you like on.  then he has ideas and your size to go back and make a purchase.

Answer 11

I think shopping together, without pressure or being too obvious would be great.  He should be able to tell which ring that you try on makes your face light up with delight!

Answer 12

It's definitely fine to go with him and try some on. You can figure out what styles you like, see what looks good on you and feels comfortable, and learn about the different characteristics of diamonds and metals together. Afterward, let him know which aspects you really liked, and which you didn't. You can leave the final decision up to him, or you can pick the specific one you want. However the two of you want to play it is completely okay.

Answer 13

I think you should both go look.  You can point out some of the things you like, then let him make the final decision.

Answer 14

i think alot of women go shopping with their men nowadays. that's what i did. we went shopping together and i pointed out the kind i like, so then when he went on his own to buy me one he know what ones i liked