Player Issues?

Question

Okay, so there's this girl on my volleyball team that I absolutely cannot stand to be around. She is an alcholic and a druggie and most of all a horrible person! She's the setter for our team (Our coach asked me to be setter in her place, but I respectfully declined) so it's not like I can avoid her during practice, but outside of the gym, I want nothing to do with her! The problem is, I take private lessons from a university coach, and this girl has started taking them too. The coach is very busy, so most lessons are in groups. I need to know how to ask the coach if this girl is going to be at the same lesson I am in advance. I know that I cannot bear to be around her one more second than I have to, but my mom says that asking the coach will make me look bad. Help!

Answer 1

This is one reason why I think sports are important in high school. In your lifetime, you will be faced with people like this from time to time and how you deal with it comes from how you handle this current situation. You can either:

Suck it up and attend the private clinics no matter what and concentrate on yourself.

Quit the private clinic.

Approach the coach and discuss your issue. Make sure you make the coach perfectly aware that you do not want to cause trouble, just that you would not want to be partnered up with this person if the situation presents itself.

In reality, you can only control yourself. If it is really bad and you literally are afraid for your life due to this person then you must find another coach to take lessons from.

As far as you dealing with her on the team:

In the school that I coach, there is a program where you can actually report instances of alcoholism and drug use in the student body. If this person has these issues then you should tell someone to get them help. Maybe this girl is a great person but the drugs and alcohol are making you dislike her. You would actually be doing her a favor by reporting her. However, do NOT report her if this is just a rumor or you THINK she is suffering from drug or alcohol abuse. You must see this firsthand.

Either way, be the bigger person and avoid contact with her or limit it. That is all you can do. Unfortunately, there are some people in this world that are up to no good. They wear all kinds of suits and work all kinds of jobs. I suggest dealing with her in a positive way and hope that she gets the help she needs. There is nothing wrong with approaching the coach, however you may not get from them what you want to hear. They may be turned off by the drama and tell you to suck it up if you want to learn from him/her.

Answer 2

Your Mom is right, it would sound petty and if not envious, then childish. And who did you think you were showing respect to when you "respectfully declined" your coach's request? Certainly not your coach, who may have been putting the team needs ahead of  personality problems. Just concentrate on learning as much as you can from the coach, the lessons he is trying to teach you, and the situation as a whole. If you put 100 % of your talent and professionalism into getting as much out of the lessons as possible, you won't need to give your unasked for opinion. You will be outshining anyone with problems of the type you described; and without contributing your advice or input. Keep your priorities focused on the team and improving your own abilities as a team player, and if your observations of this other player were right on, her misplaced priorities will be so obvious to you and the coach and everyone else, you will see  that problems like those have a way of resolving themselves.

Answer 3

That's a tough situation.  You could be the "bigger" person and just focus on business during the lesson, but that's tough to do when you're near someone you can't stand.

I always tell the players I coach that you don't have to be friends with the people who are on the court, but I expect you to be all business when we're in practice.  For your own good, it's a good policy to use for yourself.