Please evaluate my poem.?

Question

This is a poem I wrote for a Remembrance Day contest. Yes, I'm early, but my only competition, AKA my best friend, has already finished. It's called numbers... it's better when the numbers were bold and blood red... but I think you'll get the picture.

Remember the numbers

World War one

20,000,000

Deaths to come

The lights are blinding everywhere

Not many lives to be spared

6 million innocents lost their lives

9 million soldiers’ deaths arrives

1914

That’s the start of it all

Between two dates, a tragic fall

We wounded the enemies

They wounded us back

A sin, it may be,

And our souls were turned black

But we fought for freedom

We fought for love

And then our freedom

Was granted from above

In Flanders Field

The soldiers they lie

Not lasting till tomorrow

To say their good-bye

The poppies they spread

Like the blood that was spilt

The numbers are endless

Filled with regret and guilt

Numbers, dates

We always will know

And we shall always remember

For our memories shall flow

Numbers last forever

11

11

1918

The numbers that burn into our minds

Eternal

Remember them.

Answer 1

Wow, I really enjoyed your poem thats essentially about how we always remember numbers or the exact time in which something happens thats changes our lives. This poem is great and I like how it was written. It was written in the sort of way we would actually remember all those dates. Clearly, and in bits and pieces. The ending is perfect. Thanks for sharing.

Answer 2

I loved it!!!! Excellent.  Just needs something else to round it off at the end, Other than that, I loved it,