Please help!! 10 easy points!?

Question

This weekend my boyfriend and I are going to my parents for dinner & we're going to cook it and take it over. My question is, he wants to ask my dad to marry me. Would it be appropriate for him to ask? They really like my boyfriend and we've been together for almost 2 years now. I'm just worried that my mom and dad might be taken aback by it. How should he go about it? Like should he wait until I'm not near? Or what? Should he take the ring he has picked out and show my parents? He's nervous about asking them, do you have any pointers for him?

Answer 1

How sweet and traditional.  He sounds like a very respectable guy and your dad should appreciate that.  Traditionally the man asked the father in private.  But in the interest of equality, he should ask your mom and dad when they are together.  Live long and happy together.

Answer 2

If he has a ring picked out already he should meet with your dad before the dinner this weekend to ask.  Then you could turn the dinner into a little celebration dinner.

Answer 3

I doubt your parents will be "taken aback," and will probably appreciate his gesture. It's a rare gentleman indeed, these days, who asks the daughters father for his daughters hand in marriage. He'll get points for that alone.

You say you folks really like him, and you've been together for two years. Perfect.

He should definitely NOT do it with your in earshot. He can show the ring, only if it's of an impressive size, but not necessary.

Good luck, I expect your folks will be very supportive. :)

Answer 4

well i think you need to make it special.  

go to the florist and pick up $30 to $50. in flowers (sounds like a lot but really not so much at all).

bring a special bottle of wine or cider if mom and dad don't drink.

dress like you are going to a dinner out (unless that would really freak mom and dad out).

it doesn't matter if you are present or not.  the most important thing is that your husband to be puts himself in the place of your father.  Dad didn't potty train you without a plan, you didn't go to college without a plan (probably dad again).  make sure your husband has a plan he can explain to your dad.  

finally this is the time to be serious.  no jokes just straight forward "I love your daughter and i want to spend the rest of my life with her"

Answer 5

He should ask your father alone and yes show him the ring. Then tell him to ask your dad how to go about saying it publicly. Congrats!!!

Answer 6

I have to agree with those that say he needs to ask your father in private.  Nervous is "ok" but like public speaking you can cut down the anxiety by being prepared.  What I mean by that is that fathers will generally asks questions like "So how are you going to support my daughter", "What are your long term plans?"  etc.  So he needs to do his homework.

Answer 7

it's best for him to take it out with your parents with you there, and it's best for him to ask at the end of the dinner, tell him not to be nervous and to take it cool.

Answer 8

Don't show the ring. Get Dad off by himself and then he can ask for your hand. That in my opion would be the correct way to handle this. Kudos to your boy friend, that tradition seams to have got lost in todays society.

Answer 9

Of course it's appropriate for him to ask.  People have gotton away from those old fashioned ways, but I think it's wonderful.  I think he should get your dad in private and ask him and of course show him the ring.  Of course he's nervous, that's only natural.  He will feel much better once he does it though, and I'm sure your dad will really respect that he was man enough to do so.

Answer 10

If you think that they Like him now, after he does this they will Love him. First of all, he needs to come over on his own and speak with him privately. Your dad will tell your mom. Now technically,  you are Not supposed to even know. Anytime after he speaks with your dad he should ask you to marry him. This will make it official. Then when you tell your parents, they are pleasantly surprised but Not shocked & taken aback. As for the ring, he should Not show it to your parents. His word to them (about marriage) should be sufficient. When you get engaged,  you should be the one who annonces it to your parents. It's ok that he is there however, I prefer if the girl tells her parents privately so that they can express their private thoughts and wishes to her. However, she will announce it to them. They will probably want to be involved in the planning of an affair. Do not deny them the privilage of helping you make plans. It's their way of expressing their excitement. I wish you both the very best!  

Answer 11

He should ask your father outside of your presence.  He should call your father and ask to meet him somewhere or go over and have a man to man talk with him.  You being there defeats the purpose of it.  

Answer 12

I think you should give your parent a heads up.  

This will give them time to discuss how they feel about it.

If all is a GO - then on the night - you could ask your mom to assist you in the kitchen with desert whist your boyfriend asks.

If it does not work out that way... it doesn't matter....

As long as he asks.

He could ask in a casual manner - whilst you are there ...

Mr and Mrs ...... I feel a great amount of respect and love for your daughter ...... and i would love it if you would give us your permission and blessing to get married !

Answer 13

no, do NOT show the ring, the ring does not matter...

hmmm...  I think he should ask your dad when you are in another room or outside...  after dinner =)

Good Luck!  That's a good guy you have there!!!

Mary

Answer 14

Asking the father is an outdated custom not done much any more and that's too bad. When my son-in-law came to me one night, without my daughter, to ask my permission for him to ask her to marry him it completely changed my opinion of the man. It is a very scary thing to do but well worth it.

Answer 15

Your fiancee knows what he wants and if he wants you that badly he should have no problems asking for your hand, but if he squirms up...it's all over.

Answer 16

Traditionally, he should ask your father, and it should just be the two of them. He should just explain how he feels about you, and that he's thought a lot about your future together. And out of respect for you father, he'd like to ask for your hand. Being nervous is ok, and probably expected. Just tell him to be sincere and honest.  

Answer 17

That is the traditional thing to do, is ask the parents for permission.  My husband did it and my parents were impressed.  Of course he's nervous but if if your parents are supportive of your relationship, they'll be ok with it.  Its major brownie points for your b/f.  Just be himself and be honest if they have any questions.  Hold his head high and show them that he is comfortable with this decision and excited.  Congrats.

Answer 18

Irish amber has it perfectly.  I merely wanted to add my congratulations.  I hope the two of you have 60 wonderful years together.