Question:

Poem that needs some tweeking.?

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As I sit here reading this letter I never sent to you

it seems to me that this is the most petty thing I have ever come across

My heart is torn in two When days go by that I dont talk to you

Ive never been so torn before I dont know where to start

I wanted us to be what I go to sleep and dream of

The compliments you made The way you said "babe"

Now seems to fade away

Somehow you always hurt me

By not calling when you say you will

Or lying about the stupidest things which you dont know that I caught you on

I never got around to meet you but I know if I did itd be amazing

Thats why it kills me to say Im not up for meeting anymore

I have been pondering wondering what I did or didnt do

That I was or wasnt supposed to.

What was it? That long time ago when I doubted you?

I told you Im sorry you just didnt understand my reasoning behind it

I thought you liked me too but I guess I was wrong

You wouldnt have reciprocated my feelings anyways

I thought I was the dream in you.

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  1. As I sit here reading this letter that wasnever sent to you

    it almost seems to me that this is the most pettyest thing I have ever come across

    My heart is torn in two, When days go by and I dont talk to you

    Ive never been so torn before, I dont know where to start

    I wanted us to be. But when I go to sleep and dream of you

    The compliments you said, The way you said "babe"

    how it all seems to fade away

    Somehow you always seemed hurt me

    By not calling me when you say you would

    by lying about the stupidest things

    which you dont know that I know about

    I never got around to meet you but I know if I did itd be amazing

    Thats why it kills me to say Im not up for meeting anymore

    I have been pondering wondering what I did or didnt do

    That I was or wasnt supposed to.

    What was it? That long time ago when I doubted you?

    I told you Im sorry you just didnt understand my reasoning behind it

    I thought you liked me too but I guess I was wrong

    You wouldnt have reciprocated my feelings anyways

    I thought I was the dream in you.

    I canded some of the wordes


  2. As I sit here reading this letter I never sent you,

    it seems to me this is the most petty thing I have ever come across.

    My heart is torn in two when days go by,

    when I don’t talk to you.

    I’ve never been so torn before –

    I wanted us to be what I dream of:

    The compliments you made The way you said "babe", (change word?)

    now seems to fade away.

    Somehow you always hurt me;

    by not calling when you promised;

    or lying about stupid things I knew.

    We never met, but I know you’d be amazing.

    It kills me to say: “I’m not up to meetin’ you anymore.”

    I have been pondering what I did or didn’t do

    What I was or wasn’t to you.

    What was it? That long time past, when I doubted you?

    I said I was sorry,

    you just didn’t understand (my reasoning behind it) * don’t need this sentence- sometimes less is more

    I thought you liked me, but I guess I was wrong.

    You wouldn’t have (reciprocated) – change word? my feelings anyways –

    I thought I was the dream in you.

    i changed some lines. i hope it helps. you'll have to compare it. It's really good. you just need some more definiation, right now its a bit vague. your sentences run some, so i edited it. please don't take offense. I really like it.

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