Poem...what do u think?

Question

more poems from high school...

I still see your face in my dreams

It hurts and it doesn't help at all

I still want you in my life as crazy as that seems

I want you to catch me when I fall

I still remember the first time we met

There was something so different about you

Your friendship was something I wanted to get

That smile when you said hi to me was so new

Out of no where you called me on the phone

I wanted to sit there and talk to you forever

You were so new, so crazy and unknown

I just knew that our friendship would never sever

Two years and we are barely holding it together

What happened to the way this all used to be

I never wanted you out of my like ever

I sat there for a long time pretending not to see

We decided to go out and make it all all right

It didn't work out of course we knew it couldn't

We couldn't even really stand each others sight

It shouldn't end this way but it did and I shouldn't

Answer 1

I think it reads like a high school journal entry.

There's lots of meat and substance to work with here for the possibility of a good poem though if you wish to pursue the effort.

Answer 2

Poetry is a wonderful way of expressing feelings and this poem is full of emotion. It seems the relationship has passed its sell-by date though you will never forget it, as your last verse suggests.

Answer 3

I love it!

Answer 4

Its good to remember back in high school

this makes a person think

what was life back then?  And how far it has come.

Your poem talks about dreams

you have or had with a lady

Desperately wanting her

She had that smile,

You think when seeing her face

what you either have or could have had

Things were good for awhile

You two had each other for 2 years.

all of a sudden it ended

because you two couldn't stand each other.