Pregnant and alone...?

Question

My boyfriend and I just found out that we are 4 weeks pregnant. He left last week for marine corps bootcamp. We are getting married when he comes home for his ten day leave,in oct. I am then to move to the base in Cali, while he is in infantry training. Because of his MOS he won't be home often, and all of both of our families will still be across the country!! and on top of that, he volunteered to go to Iraq, so he will not see the baby untill it is a year old at least!!!He is a wonderful man, Don't get me wrong,and I am more than willing to do anything that corps asks of me to support my soon to be husband, but this is such a difficult way for a 20 yr old to start out her life...Anyone else out there ever been in my boat?? And for the babys sake, can anyone suggest a good way for me to make friends??

Answer 1

First off it could be worse.  My fiance had a former and she was pregnant.  At six months he walked out and is gone for good.

Start by looking at the positives here.  A man who loves you and is marrying you.  Now lets take it from there.

I know the military has a great deal to help offer the families in the way of support.  They have many social gatherings and this would be a good place to start.  THere are also mother's clubs and depending on what you interests hobby clubs as well.

You are a young mother and there are groups for that as well.  The fact that you may be more stable would in fact be a blessing to be around for even younger mothers who are worse off.  Not sure where you are living but as you settle be the social butterfly.  Go and talk to people.  Be it at the supermarket or your neighbor.  Don't wait for them to come to you.

It is hard but not life ending.

Answer 2

Well there has to be other wives on the base as well.  As far as him not getting to see the baby-the military is good about letting them come home for like 2 weeks during that year they are over there.  I have known several people who got to go home and see their new babies or be there for the birth.  It sucks that its such a short time, but he should be able to see your baby before the baby is 1yr old.

Answer 3

If one were to be unkind, you'd get the standard..."you made your bed, now sleep in it."

Still, you might have planned a bit better.

That said, you can fill your time by getting involving in the community.

Volunteer. Get at least a p.t. job so you'll be exposed to others with similar interests. Take courses. Stay in shape.

Learn more about the military.  You are, after all, effectively in the service, by proxy.  Study up on the Marines, the history, tradition, the ins and outs of being a marine wife. The internet in this regard is invaluable.

Whatever you do,  resist the urge to fill the void in ways your husband would leave you over.

If you know what I mean.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I am an Army wife, and born military brat, my husband is in Afghanistan..our son is now 8 months old, and when my husband left he was only 4 months, when he sees him again he will be almost 2 years old..I suggest you try making some friends within his unit when he gets back...you might meet one at the doctors office, or through the unit he's in, the Army has the FRG I don't know if the Marines have that too, but that would be a good way to meet people.  Just focus on taking care of the baby, take lots of pictures and take it one day at a time...that's all we can do..

Answer 5

I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and I've been on my own since the deadbeat abandoned me at 14 weeks.  You can do it yourself; I certainly have.  I work full time, and that is a good place to meet people.  I suggest getting a full time job and making friends that way.

Answer 6

Get involved on post.  Become a part of the unit's family support group.  Do not, under any circumstances, sit at home feeling sorry for yourself.  It's tough being married to someone in the military, but you can do it.