Pregnant and depressed?

Question

I am 11 weeks pregnant with my second child and my partner has been so unsupportive that he dumped me last weekend and then i found out that he was still doing drugs after we found out i was expecting. He says he hasnt done the drugs anymore but is really angry with me because i went through his phone (this is how i found out). He said he has done nothing wrong.

Every time i have been grumpy, tired or stressed he seems to see it as a massive inconvenience and takes it really personally even if i apologise. Its like its too late even if ive only snapped a bit then its a massive deal and ive done it on purpose to upset him which is really not the case.

He has moved back in with his parents and i am absolutely devastated i cant stop crying! He doesnt understand that i cant help it but i am trying to be nicer its just so difficult with my hormones all over the place and he really isnt helping being off with me all the time and sometimes even refusing to talk to me. Any advice???

Answer 1

Hi, Im sorry you are being put through all this, especially whilst you are pregnant. I think the best thing you can do at the moment is concentrate on yourself. I know this will be hard to hear, but I really do think you should forget about this guy. If he is on drugs, then you definately don't want your children brought up in that enviroment. So even though it's really hard, try to forget about your relationship with this guy, and think about your children's safety. You don't want your children in the middle of drugs no matter what. This guy is obviously very selfish, and cares about no-one but himself. You deserve better than that for yourself and your children. If he can't give you himself 100% then he is'nt worth all this upset you are putting yourself through. Stay close to your friends and family, who will help you through this trying time. There is no way you should be apologizing for things you might say or do, that might upset him. You are'nt the one taking drugs, he is. This is the time you should be relaxing and taking care of yourself, not worrying about this waste of space guy. You deserve better, and you should'nt accept anything less than this. Be strong and give yourself the time needed to get over this, it won't be easy but you will get there. Don't chase him anymore, because this just gives him the excuse he needs to treat you like dirt. Keep your self respect, and don't ever let anyone have it. This is the only way to show him that, hey I can do this on my own. All you need is YOU. I wish you luck and I hope I have helped a little. Be strong and be happy. It will all get better soon.

Answer 2

Congratulation on your pregnancy first of all. You can't control your hormones it is part of being pregnant, and it sounds like to me that if he can't handle that side of the pregnancy he should have took precautions, it also sounds like he doenst want any responsibility and do you really want the father of your child to be there looking after your baby when he could be high on drugs? you need to put yourself and the baby first not your partner, you needs friends and family around you who can offer you support and help not some immature idiot who runs back to his mummy and daddy when it gets too difficult. Ignore him and move on with your life you will be better off and maybe even find someone who can treat your right and look after you and your children.

Good luck it will get better in time and you will see you are better off without him.

Answer 3

i feel for you at the moment but you need to stop worring about him at the moment and take care of yourself for the little ones health, he can defende for himself and the drugs probably aint helping his mood swings, your little baby needs you especially now you need to eat and get rest and be completely stress free your boyfriend should understand this and if he doesnt understand and wont leave you to be stress free then i dont think he should be around you till later on in the pregnancy when your hormones and stress have calmed down

hope this helps

dont worry so much everything works out eventually

Answer 4

To be honest with you, this doesn't sound like a good situation.  He is doing drugs and I suspect there might also be some form of abuse going on either verbal, physical, or both.  This maybe a good thing because it sounds like if he was in your life he would just cause drama.  I get the feeling that you are co-dependent and think you need a man.  Sometime it better to not have one.  You have to break this cycle and place you and your children first.  I know this is hard but its something you have to do to make a better life for yourself.  I hope things work out for you.  Good luck...

Answer 5

I really feel for you but I know you will make it through this difficult time, remember God never gives us a situation without the capacity to deal with it first.

To me it sounds like you have to do this for yourself and the bady, not for your man. To me it sounds like he just doesn't want to know and this is something you will have to deal with and just stay strong. You don't need him to raise a child, you do this for yourself and the child, not for him!

For now I would concentrate on yourself and try to forget about him, beleive in youself and stay strong, and make sure you are taking the appropriate vitamins etc, you have to eat!

Things happen for a reason, you might be destined to have this baby but he might not be your man, it might not sound ideal but things will work out for the best in the end, trust in your abilty and beleive in yourself!

Answer 6

he sounds horrible. Why are you having his baby?

Answer 7

When I was 17 I was with a guy just like that. He ditched me for my whole pregnancy. Now he's a decent dad to our child but we aren't together. I realized he didn't really care about me. If he could ditch me while I was pregnant when I needed his support the most then how could he possibly have loved me. Now I'm married to a guy that would never leave me. It's great. You should really look into counseling. It can really help. That's what I did. Just focus on your welfare and making sure your pregnancy is healthy. He is not as important as you are right now. And seriously, counseling is a good thing and could really help you.