Problems with my 6 yr old?

Question

I am having problems with my 6 yr ols waking up in the night and sneaking downstairs to sneak snacks back to his room. We found a pile of about 25 empty snack bags under his bed...and when we asked him about them he lied to us until he finally told us the truth. We took all of tractors (which he loves) away. I don't know what to do about him sneaking around getting food. He eats his dinner and it is not like we are starving the child. If he wants 2nds he can have them.

Then I found out that he did the same thing somewhere else and lied about that too. I don't know what to do about him and the lying.

Answer 1

is he actually waking up fully can he hold a coherant conversation at the time he is completeing the action.

is it hording... is there anything going on in the family situation that might be causeing him to feel unstable, moveing, changeing jobs etc.

Is he overweight?

my youngest son steals food when he feels he is being looked over for attention and comfort.

it's still the punishment but its like "note to self" must spend some extra time with Jamie.

you tend not to steal from your mates...

Answer 2

I would just keep healthy snacks around like dried or fresh fruits. Throw out the junk food or keep it up high where he can't get it. Maybe before bed you could give him some juice and crackers or half of a pb&j. If it continues to become a problem, I would seek professional help before it became an addiction. If it's more about lying I would make sure that he knew the consiquinces of lying. I wish you good luck.

Answer 3

I don't understand what playing with his tractors has to do with sneaking food.  

If he's showing that he can't make healthy food choices, then you need to take that choice away from him, by putting food where he can't get it.

If he's being unsafe by sneaking out at night, you need to address that problem, perhaps by putting an alarm on his door that lets you know he's leaving his room at night.  

But, he wasn't doing anything unsafe or impolite or unhealthy with the tractors, so it doesn't really make any sense to take those away from him.  

From what you've said, here, it sounds like this might be a child with some attachment issues.  Is he adopted?  Foster child?  Food hoarding & food sneaking are coping mechanisms that attachment disordered kids use, to feel that they have some control in their lives or to prepare for their next rejection.  These kind of things develop when food (or other nurturances) are sporadic & unpredictable in their earlier lives.  

Speak to a therapist regarding this & other attachment issues.

Edit to add....  If he's not adopted or a foster child, can you explain what you mean by this, "Then I found out that he did the same thing somewhere else and lied about that too".  Where was the 'somewhere else'?

Answer 4

Don't make the snacks available. Or at least replace them with healthier alternatives like fruit. If he's truly hungry he will eat those instead. Otherwise he'll probably stop sneaking to the kitchen if he knows the "snack bags" are not there.

Answer 5

So stop buying junk food.  Keep a supply of fruits and vegetables instead.  At least if he sneaks them he will be sneaking healthy food.  What good is taking his toys away going to do?  Is it going to replace the junk food you buy?

Answer 6

The most obvious solution to the problem is to remove the snacks altogether. He can't sneak what isn't there.

The next thing you should do is try to get him to talk about why he took the food in the first place. If it's just a matter of him being hungry in the middle of the night, perhaps try eating dinner later or giving him a healthy snack (a cut-up piece of fruit, a handful of pretzels) a half hour before bed.

If he's not actually hungry, the most probable reason he may have taken the snacks is that he loves them and wanted to eat more of them than you allow--my brother has done this his whole life. He has no self-control. Perhaps you should have a chat about nutrition and why you shouldn't eat too many chips, but try not to make him feel guilty; negative feelings attached to food are never a good thing.

Like I said, the first order of business should be to get rid of all the snacks in the house and replace them with something healthier. Eating fruit as opposed to chips makes you feel fuller, more satisfied, and less tempted to snack--this will be a benefit for your son, surely! Good luck!

Answer 7

It sounds strange but I had a relative who slept ate. He would get up in the middle of the night and make a sandwich and not even know that he did it. We put a lock on the fridge and cabinets but left out celery, salty crackers and water. He ate what was left out and they didn't rot his teeth at night. I don't think its hunger I think it may be a need for security or even a need for a full belly to sleep.

Answer 8

he may be diabetic! Is he eating alot of sweet nacks, drinking alot of water and using the bathroom alot? Specificly peeing alot? If so you need to to take him to the doctor and have his blood sugar checked!

Answer 9

Sounds like he might have a very high metabolism and stays hungry even after eating.  Yes he needs to be punished for the lying just make sure he knows it isnt wrong to be hungry but not to sneak the food and then lie about it.  Maybe try giving him a nice snack before bed that is a bit more filling such as a pb&j sandwhich and see if that wont help him get through the night.  If he stays hungry and isn't gailing a lot of weight from all the eating then you need to take him to the doctor and have him checked out.  A tapeworm can cause it as well as high blood sugar.

Answer 10

well if he is hungry during the night maybe leave out healthy snacks for him to take instead of just snacks.

he shouldnt be taking food but i did when i was little and my little sister does too.

my parents told her no but she did it anyways so they told her what food she could have if she got hungry.

and the lying...well thats hard. all little kids lie.

my parents just did what you did..take away toys or no tv for a week or no games.

little things that he enjoys then maybe he will learn to not lie

and if he keeps doing it take more things away at once instead of just one

Answer 11

I have learned from my family's experience that punishing anyone for overeating is counterproductive. It only reinstates the need to steal more food. Your son probably  has an appetite, and food probably makes him comfortable or safe.

I think the first step is to ask him why he ate. Not in an inquisition kind of way, and especially not right after you catch him taking  the food. Rather, pick a time when you are sitting quietly and just pop the question: "Hey by the way, why do you go downstairs to eat" Wait for his answer and allow him to think about it. If he does not answer coax him by asking if he is hungry if he needs it for some other reason. Once he opens up discuss with him the need for a healthier habit. If he eats junk at night explain that he may develop stomach aches that may lead to throwing up, or any other medical reason you may think of that can scare him a little from overeating junk (just avoid telling him you will be fat, cause that will give him a stigma that you dont want to deal with).

By talking about it, and making him part of the decision, he may actually take responsibility and surprise you. dont underestimate him because he is six....they really understand more than you think.

Answer 12

Does he eat dinner very early?   Maybe he actually needs a before-bed snack.  I remember having a piece of bread with butter and jelly before I went to bed when I was a little girl.  

If he has his dinner at 5:00 PM, it's an awfully long time until breakfast the next morning.   Try offering him a "legal" snack, and keep him company while he eats it.  It will be a special time for you both, and maybe he won't need to sneak a snack later on if you do this.

Answer 13

OMG Do not punish him. My son has a metabolic disorder and was waking up at 4am hungry.  I too used to punish him but it realized he was just hungry.  I was in denial about it. I couldnt imagine how he could be hungry. But now I leave him a healthy high protien snack for him to eat with a glass of water every night.  Get him checked out by a doctor.  Doing this with food is a strong indicator of a physical problem.