Promiscuous friend is pregnant!?

Question

My daughter knows that people make bad decisions and she knows that in no way is this acceptable behavior. Honestly, my friend would do well to be influenced by her. It does her good to see the mistakes that others make, hopefully she will be better able to make wise decisions in her own life.

Answer 1

I agree that she should have the baby and not find out who the father is. If she does find out, what will that get her? Even if the 15 year old's mother was ok with it, she can always change her mind and press charges. I would try to convince her to keep the baby and not worry about who the father is. It could bring her a lot of troubles. And hopefully you're right. Maybe if she does have the baby and has a positive experience maybe she will change some of her ways.

Answer 2

your own opinion of abortion should not cloud your friends decision. it is her who has to carry this baby not you. She should be prosecuted for the s*x with a minor as if it were a man having s*x with a 15 yr old girl he would be entered on the s*x offenders register and rightly so and so should she be. whether she keeps the baby or not is not the only issue here. the chances are if there are a number of possible fathers, it raises the question as to whether this 'lady' has any STIs that she is spreading around and if she does have them she needs treatment as do all her sexual partners. Personally I feel she should alter her behavior if she is a parent already and stop behaving like a s**t. maybe instead of having multiple children with unknown fathers she should concentrate on earning money to suppport the child she has and spend time with him instead of on her back in bed

Answer 3

hoover "dam'....

that sucks.

1. if she screwed a 15 yr old, she needs to go to jail, its rape, even if they both agreed.

2. i see nothing wrong with abortion, your not taking a life, your destroying a biologically made object that hasnt been born yet, and youre keeping someone who wants an abortion from destroying their own lives, especially if they're young and dont want the baby. why put our body through the stress of giving birth if you dont want the baby.

what she did was wrong, and even if hes not the father, she should get some sort of punishment.

Answer 4

Firstly, I think you need to step back from this situation.  I know you want to be supportive and help your friend but you clearly have very strong opinions on her behaviour and what she should do.  The 'advice' you would be giving her is what you would do, not an unbiased opinion on her options.

I'm not going to comment on her behaviour - all I will say is that she sounds to me a very messed up lonely lady and hopefully this will give her the wake up call she so desperately needs.

She should make the decision as to whether she should have the baby based on her and the baby - not who the father might be.  She also needs to urgently do an STD test as beyond putting the baby's life in danger, there could be a number of people she could have spread diseases onto.

The only advice I would give would be to see a doctor ASAP and then a counselor to sort out this mess.

Answer 5

sounds like your friend could be in for some legal issues.if for one minute ,I thought someone her age had s*x with my 15yr old she would be in jail,or worse.What kind of people do you want your child raised around.Get your daughter away from this person,she can not be a positive influence on her.Do you want her to row up thinking this is ok,well it's not.It is RAPE>>>>>>>>>>>>

Answer 6

Oh my what a mess! I don't know where you live and the law there but here it would be classed as crime and she would be charged and probably put on the s*x offenders register and maybe have her son taken away...if the boy or his mother decided to press charges. However it has also happened and no formal charges were taken, though the woman was still put on the s*x offenders register. If your friend was not his teacher or in a position of trust then maybe this wouldn't apply. Does she have to admit to the boy he may be a father? Would probably advise her, if she was my friend, to not tell any of the prospective yet. Is there no way of her telling ie from the dates? If she was having it away with several men at once then unless the child obviously looked like the father a paternity test would be the only way to find out. If she has an abortion i guess it is her decision, and whatever your views on it morally, your duty as a friend is to support her whatever sh chooses. She really should have been taking the pill or using condoms in her situation, and to be honest she is obviously at very high risk of STDs. She probably needs therapy to stop her behaving in such a way. I hope you can find a way to help and support her through this, best of luck x  

Answer 7

Ok, first things first you HAVE TO stop her somehow from taking her baby's life.

If the 7 year old's dad isn't in his life she can very well have this baby without a paternity test.

How many guys are the possible father. It does only take once to get pregnant sometimes. However, it is more likely that it is who she slept with more, but that's not guareenteed. Let's say for instance she got drunk one night and slept with Mike, however she and Bill had been going out for 5 months and s*x on a regular basis. Odds are Bill is the father, but thats not for certain.

She can also try to figure out or ask the doctor for her estimated date of conception.

PS i just threw random names in their sorry if that is their name

Answer 8

She should be in someones county jail right now. I dont feel sorry for your friend. If the roles were reversed...and he was 24 and she was 13..the police would put him in jail, no hesitation. I do not think that any baby should be aborted...but it is her choice you cant make her do anything that she doesnt want to do..so pro-life and (poor choice)standings should be left up to the individual.

Answer 9

Some of the points in our question doesn't make sense, you would kill your daughter? (Is that if she got pregnant?) You can't really advise your friend on her situation, but all you can do is be a friend and support her whatever she decides to do so if she wants an abortion, even though you are against it, you can only support her decision. Maybe you should get some more professional advice from possibly the Samaritans? I'm unsure of any other helplines that could help. I would also recommend that your friend could go to a doctor and help her to decide what to do such as a paternaty test - finding out who the father is, although obviously DNA will be needed from people she suspect it could be. And the doctor could also go through her options with her.

Answer 10

Wow, 15!  Really there isn't anything you can do to stop her from getting an abortion, I wish there was.  I am pretty sure she can get a dna test done on all of the other men, if they aren't the father, then she would know that he is, then she can pursue child support, no matter his age.  She wouldn't be charged with anything unless the boys parents pressed charges, but I'm sure she could fight it saying that the boy was willing and able to make his own decisions.

Answer 11

wtf is she doin sleeping with a 15 yr old ewwwwwwwwwwww

Answer 12

Dont want to state the obvious...but i will anyway..She needs to face her actions...You can only let her know that as a friend you will be there whatever she decides to do...Yes babies are a gift but i believe in choice..if the 15 yo is the dad she will also ruin his life by having a baby...potentially..

You cannot tell her what to do just be her friend and support her...

Answer 13

Well she should just have the baby and tell them she doesnt know who the childs father is - better to look promiscuous than to be labeled a s*x offender.

Answer 14

You may be against abortion but consider your friend. She doesnt know who the father is, and to be honest, what sort of life would a baby have? She doesnt sound responsible enough to have a child.

AT ALL. I would let her have an abortion and get her some birth control because irresponsible people really get to me.

I have waited all my life to have a baby because of money, etc.