Public Temper Tantrums?

Question

Well, I guess it happens to everyone. Today I had one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happended to me happen. My four year old threw a major tantrum in the grocery store, becasue I would not buy her some cookies she wanted. I was not expecting this at all, I thought we had got past this. I kept calm and removed her from the store and took her outside while my mother watched the buggy. I gave her two hard swats on her bottom and made her sit down and calm down at the car before we went back in. Four is a little old for this to be happening isn't it? What do you do to handle them?

Answer 1

Actually, I calmly let them know that no matter how much noise they made I wasn't going to get them what they wanted and also that they would be punished as soon as we arrived back home. Eventually they realize that tantrums get them nothing but a punishment in time out when they get home.  I wouldn't leave the store, I know others get annoyed by their crying and screaming but if you leave, your child will start to learn that you get embarrassed by it and they will continue to do it to try to get their way. Just pretend that it doesn't bother you and stand by your decision. It will stop.

Answer 2

What to do?

Nothing.

Kids do what it takes to get a reaction - any reaction - from the adult present.  It is an attempt at control and manipulation.  Even teens do it - but in a very different way.  But your best reaction is to do nothing and continue on.  It is embarrassing and it is hard to do, but you simply place the child in the cart and continue on.  Most people understand, and many have been there.

Answer 3

I'm 13 and I have temper tantrums every now and then =)

my little brother gets them too, hes 4 also

we watched super nanny and learned that her tricks worked

don't hit them, have a naughty chair, be stern, and follow through

good luck!

watch the episode of supernanny each week and on youtube!

Answer 4

bach rescue remedy, eucalyptus oil, chamomile oil, lavendar oil under the nose and breathing slowly according to her heart beat should bring her around in a short time. I am not against correcting her the way you did.

Answer 5

kids do it for attention i would have done exactly what you did  but if she does them again i would give him/her 4 spankings and a time out and share with her/him  that you will keep adding punishments every time she does it and she/he will probally do it a couple more times but then they all ways stop when they get older

Answer 6

All kids, especially the younger ones will test the waters so to speak and try to push their parents to see where the boundary's are. Any thing we allow them to get away with, they will run with, period. I have found from personal experience, that just when you think you are "past" something, they will test just to see if "the same rules apply". And out in the eye of the public is the prime for them. See many parents make the mistake of not wanting to discipline their kids in front of other people for fear of others opinions, going to jail etc. Children are smarter than many people give them credit for and they see this going on; So they "show off" more so in public. The method i used may not work for every one, and some may very well disagree. However, I finally had to start swatting mine in front of people. horrible I know...my son at the time who was 6 said "mom, your embarrassing me". "well then, you behave because you are doing the same thing to me" I said to him. Now, all I have to say is, "we don't' have to embarrass one another in this store do we? He got the point in time.

Good luck, and God Bless!

Answer 7

Nope they will test you for a long time....the parenting classes I took reminded parents that it takes 21 years to really raise a child until that point they are full of tests.  You can have things taken care of and then out of nowhere they test you just to see if you will catch it.  Just be consistant with timeouts for such behaviors.  I know my son was doing good for awhile then all of a sudden the other day we were at the store and he just got so emotional and threw a fit all because i wouldn't give him quarters, he hadn't done that in like 6 months.

Answer 8

Wow, temper tantrums are never fun. I baby sit a five year old. She is so dramatic. I have realized what to do and this totally works. If they throw a tantrum in public YOU need to act like its totally ok. Then you say "Wow look at all these people staring at you. They think you are acting like a baby." Then depending on what your method of disipline is you can do that RIGHT THERE. (Remember it is more important for you to teach your child a lesson that to be embarassed.) You should sit her down in time out or i suggest that you find a wall in the middle of where everyone is and make her put her nose on it. Then when people walk by or even if they don't you say that your daughter is acting like a baby and that she is in big trouble and is going to stay there until she acts 4. This embarasses the child as much as you. Then you can put them in the baby seat in the shopping cart and untill they behave for every item you put in the cart or every minute that passes as they are still throwing their tantrum is how many minutes in time out they get when they get home. Or you could take away that many privlages. Remember to stay strong and embarrass her because the truth is that she is embasassing herself.

Answer 9

NO four is NOT too old.  My 18 year old has temper tantrums still.(obviously not in public) I think you handled it very well.  And don't worry all of us Mommies understand what it's like to be in your shoes, so don't be embarrassed, if anything we feel sympathy for you.  Go take a hot bubble bath and relax!!  : )

Answer 10

you did exactly the right thing.she will remember this next time.she was just testing you and you won the battle. good job.glad to hear you swatted her butt.

Answer 11

I personnaly think you did the right thing. I'm 13 and me and my sisters spankings have finished for about 2 years now. There was one time in a mall, where my sister who was quite young at the time, about 3 or 4, had a temper tantrum and started screaming. Let's just say her bottom hurt after that. She learned her lesson not to try that again. Hope this helps!

Answer 12

I have done the exact same thing. I used to whisper into my oldest son's ear when he was three. I would tell him what would happen if he kept up his behavior. It worked well. Now that I think about it, I still do it, even though he's 15. The tantrums will stop once she realizes that you're not going for it under any circumstances. My 2-year-old is trying it now. She'll learn. I mean both mine and yours.

Answer 13

I guess try to be more authoratative without being mean.

You are doing the right thing by spanking her in my opinion, it gets the message across without being abusive.

I was spanked as a child when I got unruly, and I remember I only acted up when I knew I could feed on the attention it got me.

Answer 14

First of all, I think you did exactly the right thing.  I think it's normal to have an occasional tantrum at four- they're still trying to get control of their emotions.

Sometimes it's all about the power struggle- they don't get their way, so they freak out to see if you'll give in.  

I would leave and take them home, then not let them go with me next time as a consequence.

If that weren't an option, as a last resort I would ignore them, as a way of saying that they're not going to get their way by losing their ****.  And who cares if people stare?  They'll get over it.

Answer 15

Wow now you are going to have a lot of people telling you that you shouldn't hit your child answering this question.

I am not one of those people...I am a firm believer in tapping your behind if you get out of line.  There is a line between abuse and discipline and you did not cross it.  I spanked my children and they are the best kids I could ever pray for.  They are well behaved..on honor roll and my daughter is 16 with no boyfriend and she is already been to college for nursing.  They are my world and I don't think they would be this well behaved if I didn't discipline them.

4 years old.....that was the only thing you could do and keep on doing it so she knows to not do it or she'll get a tapping.  My son is 3 and he still turns out but he knows that he'll get in trouble if he gets to carried away.  Keep up the good work and don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong!!