Question for parents about money?

Question

Do your teenage and adult children think that your money is theirs? I was approached by a 40 year old gentleman to represent him against his parents. They had told him about their will and he was upset he was not going to get what he thought should be his. My husband and I have always told our children it is our money not theirs, that we had to work to get what we have and we will be more than happy to pay for an education and give them what we think they should have while they are under our roof, but that not to think that all of what we have is theirs....are we wrong?

Answer 1

This is a major problem I have been seeing everywhere lately. I find it very discusting. Kids thinking they deserve everything under the sun and growing up to be adults that expect everything hand delivered to them.

I am surprised a 40 yr old would do something like this (makes my ill) but I hear about it from my husband every day. He 'adults' (we call them kids, they aren't much more then that) that work under him do some of the most unbelievable things and have NO work ethic.

I really think you are doing the right thing with your kids. Thank you. My husband and I don't have alot and must work for everything we do have. We are hoping to teach that to our son, if he wants something he must buy it with money he makes (of course we will help out there by giving him 'jobs'). We try very hard to set aside money every month for his college be we only want to pay for 1/2 leaving the other half to him.

I can't possibly imagine expecting someone elses hard earned money. I hope his parents fight him hard. Even take him fully out of their will.

Answer 2

It is yours, so I wouldn't call you wrong, but if there's a time when your kids are out of the house, and pretty settled, and a major problem happens to them..well, I wouldn't be a stickler then.  Just don't let them take advantage of your generosity.

  There were a couple times when my hubby and I, first starting out, had an urgent need, but no money. (I was pregnant at the time too.)  My hubby hated to do it, but he borrowed the money from his dad.  We paid it back quickly, but knowing that your parents are willing and able to help in an emergency is a relief.  Thankfully, we've only had to do it a couple times.

Answer 3

Well Im not a parent but Its not wrong what u say is true Im almost 20 years old and my sister younger sister goes to my parents and tells my dad hurry up and get ur check I have things I need to do.She told me that they work for her to be happy.She always askes for money or steals it.I know parents with jobs work hard to take care of tehir familys bu not to be used to loose everything they didnt work for.

Answer 4

no, I think you have made the right decision. I have a big advantage, nothing to fight over. Really, my girls are very good about money. They like feeling independent. I knew 4 bros that the g-parent left a fairly large amt to be split when the youngest was of age. How do you think they acted knowing that in the future they would get a lot of money? They weren't worth killing.  Good move on your decision.

If my son tried to sue me. I would cut him out completely. The sad part is what must be going through the parents minds. Like, Where did we go wrong? we raised a greedy piece of c**p.

Answer 5

Melissa,

I completely agree with you!  Our kids do get an allowance, but they have to complete a rotating set of chores each week on time, or have a portion of their allowance docked.  Moreover, we don't give them additional money if they run out.  The reason for the allowance system is that we want them to learn a good basis for a work ethic now, but they're not allowed to get summer jobs or jobs during the school year.  

Once they get to a certain age (17, which our eldest daughter is now), they can work outside the house over the summer for extra money, as she has this year.  However, I don't feel in any way obligated to "share the wealth equally" with them, nor would I after they moved out.  Once my kids are out of the house, I will lend a helping hand in case of emergency, and will be happy to invest in their future if I agree with the decisions, but I owe them nothing except my love.