Raising a child with different opinions..?

Question

Me and my boyfriend come from two completely different backgrounds. My daughter is still very young, but I'm starting to get worried about how we will go about raising her if we don't agree on things. Some things we don't agree on are things like vaccinations, religion, rules. So what advice on what I should do??

Answer 1

You both need to compromise.

Vaccinations: Look thoroughly through all the information & decide. Keep in mind some schools/child care don't allow children who aren't vaccinated.

Religion: I have the same issue. We do a mixture of both religions & my son can decide which he prefers (Around the age of 12 when they become "adults" in most religions)

Rules: You both need to be on common ground on this one, this is important or the child will choose rules to suit her.

Just try and be open minded & supportive. Ask him the same, as long as you are both willing to compromise then there shouldn't be problems

Answer 2

together make a list of "all things" involved in parenting-- like what you were mentioning (which this could never happen because it's infinite, but as many as you can think of). Then take the top 10 or 15 or so and each of you individually put them in order for what you think is MOST important, what you care about the most... you may find you care WAY more about religion then he does and he cares WAY more about vaccinations than you do, in which case the person that ranked them at the very top should get to choose (unless the belief differs to the point of it being totally unacceptable to the other person) then you'll have to compromise or otherwise.

Answer 3

If you have such diverse opinions on major issues in your life (if not his) and can't figure out how to compromise and/or respect each other's opposing opinions, I would seriously re-think this relationship.  What's it's foundation?  What is it built upon, if not mutual respect?  

Answer 4

You should have thought about that before having a baby........here comes alot of drama! You will have to talk now and compromise.

Answer 5

Wow, that's a tough question. It depends on the age of the child, and whether or not you two both force your opinions on her without letting her think for herself. I somewhat had that problem before I got married, even though I don't have any kids yet. I think you and your bf should come together and find more common ground to avoid any useless fighting and confusion

Good luck!

Answer 6

You didn't say if your boyfriend is your daughter's father.  If he is, then the other answerers are right - negotiate, decide what is most important to you in raising a child and then figure out a way to  compromise. For instance, if religion is important to both of you, then consider exposing your child to both religions and let her make a choice when she reaches her teens. If one feels stronger than the other about it, maybe that person should get their way but give in on something else.   As your child gets older, she may  be able to deal with the fact that the two of you have different opinions, but it may confuse her if you don't present somewhat of a united front early on.

If your boyfriend is not her father, then you should be the one to make the final decision on important issues in her upbringing.