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Rate my "SAT Style" Essay?

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I've been practicing for the essay section in the SAT...and I'd like to know your opinions on how I'm doing...

ratings from 1-6 and plz, base it on the same things as the ETS would and also any suggestions on how to improve would be great.

Topic: Failure leads to success

http://echeat.com/essay.php?p=34465#34465

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  1. I'd give it a 5.  It's pretty good, but the vocabulary could be a bit more powerful and it could flow a bit better.

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