Re:Adoption?

Question

My husband and I have met a couple that want to place their child up for adoption. She is 4 mts pregnant- I know we will need a lawyer , but does anyone know how the process works and if all paperwork etc can be done by the time she has the baby? ANy answers greatly appreciated?

Answer 1

It can be done, but start NOW. Your homestudy process could take up to 3 months to complete/then be approved.  With all of the criteria, backround checks, etc., it may take time.  Make sure you hire a reputable adoption attorney.  Be very clear on what your criteria is for placement and post placement contact with the birth mother as far as visitation, and or letters etc.,  Read! Search the internet, chat with other adoptive parents who went the private route. Be prepared to be totally vunerable, and remember, until she signs the paperwork, and her revocation expires, she is still in control of that baby. Good Luck

Answer 2

You need to get a homestudy started ASAP as the fingerprint background checks can take 6 weeks or more. We had a similar situation, only she was 7.5 mos pregnant at the time we met and we weren't sure we could get it all done in time. We did though!

Also, you will want her to have specialized counseling and her own attorney to ensure her rights are protected and everything is explained to her without bias. Does she have insurance to pay for prenatal care and birth? If not, ask her to apply with her State for maternity Medicaid. If you pay expenses it sets up an expectation for you and an obligation for her which is not healthy or ethical.

You should get counseling as well, because it is easy to start emotionally "claiming" the child as your own, but you cannot do that. She is the child's one and only mom until she relinquishes her rights and she may choose not to do so. Try to see it for what it is, a wonderful possibility.

Answer 3

Don't give her any money, whatever you do!

If you pay any of her bills or give her money and she changes her mind (most do) you will get nothing back. She could also be scamming you and collecting money from 5 different families. Instead get financial advice, you want to loan her money for her dr. bills where she is legally obligated to pay you back, starting 90 days after the baby is born.  If however she does terminate her rights and sign the baby over to you, you could forgive the loan and not require her to pay you back.

Answer 4

Definitely get a lawyer.  The lawyer can answer any questions for you and help you out along the way.  

Each state has its own process and laws.  A lot of states have  a six month waiting period for the adoption to be finalized (even though the child is placed with the adoptive family at birth, the birth mother has six months in which to change her mind).  Your state may not be six months but a lawyer will be able to tell you what's what where you live.

Answer 5

all i know is adoption kids are brats, because there messed up. "Get a good Dog"

Answer 6

Get yourself a very good lawyer and go from there. Good luck.

Answer 7

Find a lawyer that specializes in adoption.

Answer 8

You said the magic word , you will need a LAWYER.

Answer 9

No all the paperwork can not be done by the time she has the baby although a good bit can. Yep, get a lawyer. She can not give up her rights to the child until 48 hours after the birth. Then the papers are filed and the waiting period and court date is set, about 6 months depending on the court thing

Answer 10

BE CAREFUL!  Most of the paperwork can be done before the baby is born...but in every state it cannot be official until after the birth.  Which means that BirthMom has a right to change her mind.  The time frame after birth ranges from state to state....I know Texas is 48 hours after birth.  There are some states that are up to 6 months.  That means that you could take that baby home from the hospital and up to 6 months after birth BirthMom has the right to change her mind, and could take her baby back.  

We adopted in Texas, live in South Dakota.  Texas is only 48 hours, and we allowed our daughter to stay in the hospital until BirthMom signed at 48 hours.  The other thing is that Birthmom has to be without mind alter drugs (pain meds and all) for at least 24 hours before signing.  If ever there is proof that she wasn't, there could be issues.  

At this point, you could spend lots of money, and even pay some BirthMother expenses and loose everything you have into this adoption.  I am not saying that you should not proceed, because I know how exciting it is, but maybe find out some answers.

Why is the couple placing the child for adoption?  It is not very often at all that a couple places a baby up for adoption.  Sadly, many people today use their pregnancy as a way to scam people who are emotional and desperate.

Good luck, we have been there!

Answer 11

You will need to get an attorney for her to sign her Relinquishment, and for the birthfather to sign a Voluntary Waiver.  If he does not sign voluntarily, he will have to be served, and if that is not possible, he will have to be publicated.  It is imperative that she gives the correct information about the birthfather, as this is the most vulnerable part of adoption.

Then you will need to make arrangements to pay for all her medical and legal bills.  Prenatal care and delivery, plus pediatrician, etc., as well as the two termination hearings, an attorney ad litem for the birthfather and another attorney for the baby.

Once she delivers, she can sign her Relinquishment.  It depends on the state the baby is born in as to when, as it varies state to state.  Then, once the termination hearings are complete, then you can go forward with the adoption.