Reaching out for a little help

Question

i know that this really won't help me all that much, but i'm in a rough spot and i just... well i'm just feeling pretty desperate so here goes.

everything is a battle for me. i'm trying to start school next week (college) but i'm a transfer student and there is so much red tape... i feel like i'm banging my head into the wall. i know it's worth it, but i feel dead. i am lonely, so so lonely... i almost feel like i'm already dead, cold and buried underground. i crave death and suicide and pain because i feel so utterly hopeless but at the same time being dead is not what i want. i want to be loved by someone i can love back. i want someone who will hug me and just be with me. i want friends, i want my family to be my family without trying to take over my life and live it for me... i have gum disease and my mouth hurts constantly. it seems like i'll never be able to get rid of these problems. i made a dentist appointment but the dentist is apparently really terrible so i'm nervous... i need help, i feel so alone. i want to crawl into the basement and curl up in the corner and waste away slowly. perhaps that's the kind of miserable death i deserve...

i am usually very chipper and upbeat... i usually don't get this down... but today these are my thoughts and if anyone has any advice, please share it. i'm not very serious about the suicide thing but it's one of the things that tempts me more than just about anything else.

..help?

Answer 1

I feel you man, I used to feel the same way.  Red tape?  Can't help much there other than to say that's just one of those suck parts of life that will never change.  All you can do is get used to it.  But it passes.

One thing you can do is forget about the things you want... you tend to get the things you want when you're not thinking about them.  Happiness is a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it flies away, but if you relax and don't worry about it it will come to you.  Do things for other people, even if they don't appreciate it.  The more you try to get love from people the more they resist.  Busy yourself with the things you can control (yourself, classwork) and love will find you.

Answer 2

Hey cheer up. School is always full of so much c**p when you register it is awful!! Don't worry college is a easy place to meet friends. Classes, groups you'll love it. Just need to breath and remember it will get better. Im having a horrible day too! Lets virtually hug. See one new friend already :)

Answer 3

When I feel like this, I make myself go outside and look and listen to nature. I enjoy the life of nature around me for a while. Walking helps me to "walk away the frustrations inside of me." I know this is difficult, but it is what has helped me in the past.

But have you gone to the doctor to find out if you have a depression/anxiety disorder? This is kind of what it sounds like to me. When my niece was thinking like you are now, her Mom took her to the doctor, and he gave her medication. It really did help her. She didn't have to stay on it; and she took it long enough to pull herself together and move on with her life. Now she is 18 and starting college next month. I think you can do the same, but you need to take proper channels to get yourself there. Sadly, no one can do it for you! And no one can make your life any better, but you! So that is why it is important for you to maybe go to the doctor and see if you have a depression/anxiety problem; because you don't have to live this way! Not with the medications that we have now for these kind of problems.