SOCIAL HESITATION OR JUST BEING RUDE ?

Question

I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOCIALIZING EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I HESITATE TO SAY HELLO AND IT HAS CAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE NOT TO LIKE ME, I MEAN ONE TIME THIS GUY EVERY TIME I SAW HIM, I NEVER REALLY SAID HELLO BUT HE NEVER REALLY SAID HELLO EITHER, SO ONE DAY I SAID HELLO AND HE SAID HELLO, BUT I OVERHEARD HIM SAY TO HIS FRIEND " OH SHE NEVER SAYS HELLO NOW SHE SAYS HELLO" HOW CAN I BE MORE SOCIAL OR JUST HELLO TO PEOPLE BECUASE IT IS RUINING MY LIFE, THAT SAME GUY IS VERY MEAN TO ME FOR NO REASON JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T SAY HELLO, I THINK HE HAS SOME HANG UPS ANYWAYS, BUT HOW CAN I SAY HELLO MORE AND DO YOU THINK IT'S SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM

Answer 1

Not a psychological problem. Your just shy.

Break out of your shell, learn to feel good about yourself

Answer 2

Yeah you are just shy. You gotta build your self esteem and just go for it. The only people that are ever rude over a hello are the kinds of people you dont want to get to know anyways. Also, here's something to think about when your working on your self esteem. If people are noticing you dont say hello, they obviously wish you would so you must have something going for you :)  have some of your good friends introduce you to people that they already know. let them know that they need to make sure you are involved in the conversation. It just takes practice, like every other social skill. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you are dealing with a fear of rejection.  The only way to get over it is to smile and say hello to everyone you come across - you will find many people that smile and say hello back to you, and it will get easier with time until you just do it naturally.  Quit worrying what others think about you - you have to live with yourself!

Answer 4

when you are out in public say hello to everyone you met. practice, practice, practice. you will get comfortable with it.  

Answer 5

I used to find it difficult and in fact still can to start and keep a conversation going without looking or feeling silly. You would not know it if you saw me it is well covered. I just say hello to everyone I pass and know by sight even slightly. Usually  I get a smile and hello back and sometimes I get a, " go crawl under your stone and die look,"  that has to be their problem not mine and I say hello next time I see them. They get used to it in the end. You are just shy and I was once told it was a form of arrogance. That is nonsense and cruel it is a lack of confidence which you must try and build up. Think on it this way, people want to be reasonably friendly and find it difficult and irritating to cope with someone who appears stand offish.

A little story which reflects badly on me:

A young girl came to work with us for a while on a scheme, every morning I had to pass where she worked and I said "good morning"  there was no reply. if I said,  "How are you?  There was no reply.

In the end  after a few months I said to her, "look  if I speak to you for the love of Mike say something even if it's only, "p**s off! " "    No reply. I gave up at that point. I tell you this to illustrate the frustration  some must feel when dealing with you not to humiliate you but to encourage you        

Answer 6

I would hate to give it such a fancy title as social hesitation.  For you to think a guy is very mean to you for no reason other than you did not say hello means you not very insightful to the feelings and emotions of others.  You have made this all about you, and not what you did not offend him.  If you even got to know him I'm sure your analysis of him having hang ups is way off.

Answer 7

It is really a low self esteem problem.  Try thinking how you can gain more self esteem and confidence.  One thing is for sure when a person feels good about themselves they have more confidence.

Try making sure that you dress neat and attractive.  I know if I feel pretty, and look good it gives me LOADS of confidence.  Of course it is superficial confidence but at least that is a start.  After that you can try to build your confidence with doing things that make you feel good and accomplished.  You can do volunteer work, or civil activities.  Anything you enjoy.  Take up art, or any course you enjoy.  It will also give you what to talk about.  Listen to the news, keep yourself up to date on current events, it will also create conversation.  The more you are active in the community the more interesting you will be, which will greatly enhance your confidence.