Scientific question about flautulance

Question

if you lift up your leg to f**t, hopeing you'll f**t silently, won't people know your farting by lifting up your leg?

Answer 1

I thought most people c*cked there leg when they wanted to make it obvious, and also try to make it loud as possible?

If i wanted to trump quietly then i'd not move or carry on as i was...

Answer 2

The intensity of farts, and the noise level they will produce, is difficult to predict.  You can try by using the following rating scale:

1. The poot

A minimal and brief sound results.  No leg motion required.

2. The tally-poot

A slightly louder sound lasting as long as one second.  Keeping legs together is most common practice.

3. The f**t

The standard intensity level.  Lasts 2-3 seconds.  Lifting leg increases sound volume.

4.  The Buck f**t

Duration 3-5 seconds.  Sharp, barking sound.  A venial sin when done in company.

5.  The Tear-***

Nobody can help looking around.  Noses will twitch soon.  Most people squeeze their legs together, but it doesn't help.

6.  The Rattler

8-12 seconds duration.  Requires a visual check in the rest room soon afterward.  Nothing can be done to mask the sound, so you might as well lift your leg.

7.  The Church Creeper

Also called the "silent killer."  Makes little or no sound, and may have a duration as long as 10-12 seconds.  Very common right after lunch or a pot-luck supper.

***This is as close to a scientific discussion as you will get.***

Answer 3

Not if you lift your leg to tie your shoe.  :-)

Answer 4

Simply spread your buttcheek, it is less noticeable.