Second Marriage- Help ?

Question

Getting Married again and both of us have children. Our kids want a big traditional wedding for us, We don't. Others been through this?? How to compromise. We want to just take a cruise together us two, but also want to include children in the whole process somehow. ( can't afford to take all 6 kids with us on cruise, they range from 11- 21).

Also how do we have an informal reception without people getting mad of not being at the wedding and How do we let them know we don't want gifts, just come and party with us.

Answer 1

My first wedding was in the court house. My second wedding was in a gazebo in a park. In your case since you two have been through the "BIG" wedding, is to be honest with your children, that this is NOT what you wish to do. That you have made your decision to marry on the cruise, but when you get back you will be having a party to celebrate your nuptials.

On the invitations to the reception, saying something like please no gifts, all we request is your presence... or something like that.

good luck to you. :)

Answer 2

Have a reception like you said for everyone, and the ones who want to go on a cruise, have a drawing at the reception.  Figure out how many you can afford to take along, and if they are all equally welcome, but you just can't afford them, have a drawing (like names in a hat) and then ones that don't get their names drawn, can come if they pay for their cruise. It's equal, fair and everyone has the same chance.

(as far as the younger kids, they should be able to go, but the ones who work would have to pay their way-)

You get the picture. You can set the number of names drawn by how many you can afford to take.  If it's an issue of not wanting them on the cruise at all, Then just have a small wedding/reception by just hiring a preacher, and having friends and family bring food- have it an someone's house or by a lake or something "free" but nice.  then have a small reception after. Tell then NO Gifts please!

Then do the real thing on the boat.

Good Luck

Answer 3

It seems that you don't even care to wait until your kids turn 18 years before you get marry so don't care about their opinion at all.

Answer 4

Your children are excited for you & want to be a part of a wedding.  While I understand you don't want a big fanfare, I think you ought to reconsider a small wedding where the children & close family can participate.  

Maybe on the dock before leaving on your cruise?  

And remember unless the ship's captain is licensed/ordained he cannot marry you by virtue that he's a captain.

When you return send out invites asking people to come celebrate the wedding that took place on such-n-such date.

And you can't keep people from getting you a gift.

Answer 5

just send out reception cards saying that you two have tied the knot and would love their presence at the party/ reception and please no gifts! it's your wedding not the kids, maybe they can help you with what to take on your cruise, they can plan their own wedding someday, but, they will be included in the reception party planning, and that you could use their help with that.

Answer 6

I think the best compromise would be a small cermony for just you and the kids.  Then you and your husband can take the cruise for your honeymoon.  When you return you can host a BBQ themed reception.  Maybe host it even in a neighbors barn.  The invitations could encourage guests to dress casually!  Offer dancing and games like horseshoes!  Once it gets dark have a bonfire!

Answer 7

never been in this situation but i think if i was i would want to include my kids in the event from start to finish as much as possible so they see that this is a family coming together..not just two people..let them pick the cake, your dress, etc..

Answer 8

You should get married with your kids present, going off to get married is just not an option given your kids' ages.  Especially since your kids seem to want and need to see you guys enter into this wedding, they need the ritual.  And that's fair.  But, that doesn't mean they get to be your wedding planners!  So throw a casual, fun wedding and reception.  Have a clergyperson or judge come to the reception location and perform a simple ceremony.  Have all children stand up with you.  Then celebrate the way you want to.  You can put on the invitations that you'd prefer no gifts, but you'll get some anyway.  Be gracious.