Should I Find a New Therapist?

Question

I recently started therapy for the first time to help with my social anxiety. I've seen my therapist twice so far, once in June and then again this week. I know I should probably give it time, but he hasn't helped me at all. In fact, I don't even feel comfortable enough with him to tell him the truth and I feel like a lot of my therapy time is spent sitting there in an awkward silence not knowing what to say or do while he sits there and stares at me. I was really hoping for a female therapist (I'm a female) because I know I would be more comfortable but I didn't specify that when I made the appointment and I just took what I got hoping I would like him.

He really hasn't given me any advice on how to get over my anxiety other than to go out in public and do things that make me appear weird. He had me pretend he was a good looking guy my age and ask him where to find a CD as if I were at a CD store and he has also asked me a few times if random guys come up and talk to me. I'm really not sure wtf that has to do with my social anxiety but it definitely creeped me out a bit lol.

So I just wondered is this awkwardness is a part of starting therapy and should I just stick with it or should I find someone else? I was really hoping to get a therapist I would feel comfortable talking to but I just can't seem to get comfortable with him. I hate to judge this process so soon since I've only had two sessions but the awkwardness is just so hard to deal with. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I suffer from anxiety as well. My therapist I have now is /great/ and she's totally helpful. But guess how many therapists I had to test out before that? It ended up being 7. If you're not comfortable with your therapist and he's not helping then find a new one. It's really common for people to meet a new therapist and never go back again because they didn't 'click' with them. In fact, therapists usually expect this to happen quite often.

Twice, I saw a therapist for the first time and didn't come back. The first one was.... just nuts. The second one was nice but didn't really help me in a way that was effective.

Bottom line: You're paying to have this person help you and he's not. You're trusting this therapist to help you overcome your anxiety/manage it and he's making you feel uncomfortable. See if there are more therapists in the building ;)

Good luck!

Answer 2

Therapy is always awkward at first... but when I go I see a woman and I feel mostly comfortable with her, but not totally.  It's difficult to talk about your inner-most feelings with a stranger.

Answer 3

Yes! find yourself a female therapist.  That's what I did.  I could not talk to a man! My Psychologist is a woman and my therapist is also a woman.  I cant open up to some man! I was totally uncomfortable the entire time.  And I have anxiety too.  And she helped me a great deal! Of course you do know they answer a question with a question.  But I have since learned how to deal with people in social settings.  You will too. Just take your time, I use to hide.  I couldn't deal with people always at me or in my face! some were to touchy filly!  But your awkwardness will pass! just hang in there.  its real hard trying to open up to strangers!  

Answer 4

The most important facilitator of therapy is to find a therapist you like, feel comfortable with and trust. If you cannot do any of these it will be a waste of your time.

He is not dealing with your anxiety issues in a very therapeutic way i.e. role play. Anxiety disorders are very common and very easily helped. They can involve many types of methods of therapy including cognitive, medication and analysis. For example.

If you want a female and feel more comfy with one get one!

good luck!  

Answer 5

yep. this horrible, awkward, hellish experience is just the beginning of therapy.  the first about...4 or 5 times i saw my therapist i HATED her, absolutely hated everything about her, the room, the building, the city, the time, the talking, the crying, the truths...i couldn't stand it! it would ruin my whole day when i knew i had to go there at 4:30.  i would make up every excuse to be 15 minutes late and leave 15 minutes early.  

but i gave up on it because it was too hard for me to talk to people about my issues.  

yours seems to be trying to help you in a....different way, but if its really wierd, like the CD thing...wtf is that about, if you are female, i'd try another woman for a therapist, it's easier to talk to somene of the same s*x if you ask me...or harder...oh god im not sure

but the awkwardness is inescapable when you start therapy.  

Answer 6

You haven't been at the therapy long enough for much of anything to happen.  "I don't even feel comfortable enough with him to tell him the truth ..."  If you haven't told him the truth, how could he offer helpful advice?

If after a month or two, you don't see any progress, I would look for a different type of therapist.

I suggest a Cognitive therapist.

Or, this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Days-Self-Este...

Answer 7

If you were to go to 25 therapists, I bet you would find a good one and KNOW it in 15 minutes. If you are not willing to do this then you should help yourself. Your therapist does it to make money. That is the purpose of a job. So he is doing a good job since he is making money.

If you do not have enough money, you could take drugs, like alcohol or crack, to feel better and many do. But that does not cure it. The cure is to make more money. If you are depressed, the cure is not to take a drug, like Prozac. The cure is to be happier. If you have panic or anxiety, which everyone feels at one time or another, the cure is not to take drugs. The cure is to feel more tranquility, calmness and peace of mind. See site below for more on this. Peace be with you.

Kevin Trudeau says in his best selling book, Natural Cures They Do Not Want You to Know About, "All illnesses and diseases are caused by the same things; (1) too many toxins in the body; (2) nutritionally deficiencies; (3) electromagnetic chaos exposure; (4) mental and/or emotional distress." "The most effective way to cure and prevent disease is by getting the toxins out." "One very powerful cleanse is, of course, fasting." "Drugs only suppress symptoms, and they cause disease because they are toxic." In More Natural Cures Revealed, Kevin Trudeau says "The facts are clear, drugs, both prescription and non-prescription, do not make you healthier, they make you sicker. Drug companies are not interested in your health. Drug companies only want you to buy and use more drugs. If you want to cure yourself of any disease you have and remain healthy, you must eliminate all non-prescription and prescription drugs."

http://www.phifoundation.org/panic.html

Answer 8

if you feel awkward around this person and rather get a female i say go for it. your therapist shouldn't make you feel awkward when around him/her the things he/she may put you though like role playing may but not the person himself.

i suggest doing your own therapy by getting one of your friends into a social group and go out places and add more people as you do this maybe once a week, it would probably be much more effective than sitting in a room with one person paying the guy probably a lot of money just to write things down and MAYBE suggest something.

Answer 9

i didnt read your story, just the ? and i dont like Therapists. you can get the same help form a close friend

Answer 10

I'll ask you the same, "Do random guys come up and talk to you?"

Now, let's sit and think about that...(Awkward pause)...staring aimlessly...ho hum...twiddle thumbs...

Okay, times up! That'll be $500! See you next time!

Do you feel better now?!? LOL! :D

Therapists are quacks!

P.S. Where does one even buy CDs anymore, with iTunes, Limewire, shared MP3's and all? Tell your doc to get with the times. E-mail if you need that CD for free or just want to talk. :D

Good luck!

Answer 11

you should be comfortable in therapy.  that's like going to the doctor for a pap and not trusting the doctor that's sticking things up your 'area' if you know what i mean.  a doctor is a doctor and you should be comfortable with them no matter what - i mean, from the jump you should be comfortable.  don't waste time and money on someone who doesn't have your best interest at heart.  find a new, female, doctor....